Thursday, August 11, 2011

Court Ordered

I just found out today from my worker that the judge has ordered sibling visits to take place twice a month.  In order to make sure there is no basis for appeal when they terminate parental rights, these visits need to happen.  I am grateful to say the visits will be supervised!  Before I would meet the other mom, hand over baby Sam for two hours and then return to pick him up.

Sam is 5 months old...his brother is almost 2 years old.  I am not really sure how much interaction will truly take place.  Don't get me wrong...I have nothing against sibling visits...I think they can be really healthy and good for children who are not raised together.  I just think perhaps they are more appropriate at an older age when the boys can play together and form a bond and friendship. 

I wonder what that means for the future as well.  I am willing to keep the boys in contact...I have said so since the beginning...I think it will be good for both of them.  However, I think it should be at appropriate intervals depending on their ages and how well they interact and influence each other.

It's a lot to think about...  I hope this doesn't affect our ability to adopt Sam.  Sam is such a vital part of our family, and all of us would be heartbroken if he were to leave.  The other day when the transporter came to pick up Sam for his visit with birth dad, James started saying "Baby Sam come back? Baby Sam come back? Sam cry."  I had to reassure him that baby Sam would return in a little while, and yes, Sam may cry when he gets loaded in the car, but he would be okay.  Whenever James wakes up, and he cannot see Sam, he says "Where's baby Sam?".  Usually I will explain that Sam is sleeping, and then the world is better again.  This didn't used to happen, but the visits have created an uncertainty for James.  James definitely is bonded and in love with baby Sam.

Anyway...enough rambling already.

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