Beginning Stages

I am starting to notice the beginning stages of separation anxiety in Sam.  He definitely recognizes my husband and me, and if he is getting tired or is upset, he wants me to comfort him.  There have been a couple times this past week where my husband and Sam will be playing, and I will walk past them to change laundry loads or use the restroom, and Sam will start crying for me.  We went to a play date today, and Sam was playing just fine with some toys and having a grand old time until he looked across the room and saw me smiling at him...then he started to fuss and cry and crawl my direction.  In the past when I have discussed James's separation anxiety with others, I have gotten comments like I am spoiling him too much, he should be able to have me leave the room without having a meltdown, etc.  What most people don't realize is when you are in a foster/adoption situation, separation anxiety is actually a blessing.  It means the child is forming a secure bond with the family...or in the case the mom, the main care giver.  When James went through this stage, and as we encounter it with Sam, I will be grateful (even when it can be frustrating at times) because it is a great sign of attachment.

I don't think I mentioned that poor James had some separation anxiety creep back up in the past few months due to my surgery.  It was the first time Mommy was away from home for an entire night, and that set James back a little in his feeling of security.  Thank goodness I was released from the hospital the day after my surgery.  Even to this day, James will sometimes become upset when I leave him with Grandma to run a few errands because he is scared I won't be coming back.  Now that is truly heartbreaking!  I hate that he has to try to internalize and piece together these confusing circumstances.  I always tell him when I am leaving and reassure him that I will be coming back home.

Just because separation anxiety is more evident in infants doesn't mean toddlers will not experience it as well.  I pray God will grant James peace over my whole surgery episode.  I also pray for lots of patience as I move forward into the separation anxiety with Sam...I am expecting to have to stop putting him in the nursery at church here eventually...just like with James, but we will see how that all unfolds.