Self confidence is an important character trait, at least in my opinion. It is wonderful to encourage your children especially when they are particularly proud of an accomplishment...whether you are thrilled with the end result or not. Now I am not referring to the amazing artwork that adorns your hallway when a child gets carried away with some crayons...that is not the time to sing the child's highest praises.
James often will show off a new trick he can do, tell jokes to make us laugh, and impress with his ability to run fast, do somersaults and all sorts of other activities. Although these tasks may not seem like a big deal, they are a big deal to James, so we try our best to praise him and cheer him on in these endeavors.
For awhile now James has been dressing himself. He can put all of his clothes on and take them off...only occasionally needing help with a pesky button or because his arm gets stuck. It used to be James would help choose his clothes from some selections I showed him and wear those items, but most of the time now, James runs into his room, closes the door and comes out dressed and so very proud of himself for doing it all on his own. We hoot and holler and make a big deal out of these successes. This is not the time to tell James "your clothes don't match" or "your shirt is on backwards." Those details are insignificant in the overall accomplishment. We want James to have self confidence...not to think badly about himself or discouraged. He is still learning, and with time, he will get the hang of it all. So...when I leave the house with a boy wearing plaid shorts and a striped shirt or a boy wearing his shorts and shirt backwards, I am not bothered by it. James doesn't seem to mind at all, and he will proudly tell people he dressed himself (which sometimes they know without his announcement). Much of time, though, James' clothes match, and his shirt is on the right way. For me, this clothing mismatch is not worth a battle...especially when it might dampen James' self confidence.
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