Possible Visits AGAIN

I received a call from my agency worker today.  Apparently David's county worker called to inform us that David's birth dad has been calling her repeatedly about having visits with David.  Why the county worker waited until now to pass on the information I don't know.  Anyway...we are being told to set up visits twice a month for one hour of supervised visitation with the baby.

Last time birth dad requested visits, we set it up quickly and everyone showed up except birth dad.  Then we never heard from him again and he didn't attend the last court hearing either. That visit was supposed to take place in early September.

So far to date birth dad has not seen David once except perhaps if he was present at the hospital when David was born.  David is now five months old and has just hit the separation anxiety really well.  In fact recently we had two family members baby-sit the boys for us (each at a different time), and David cried almost the whole time we were gone.  Then this weekend when I put David in the nursery, I was paged within the first twenty minutes of service (if not sooner) because David kept crying and would not calm down.  He is definitely expressing the fact that he is feeling attached and bonded, and as an adoptive mother, I am grateful for that...even if it is not always convenient and even if David is hitting the separation anxiety far earlier than James did (James was closer to nine months).

I will be interested to see 1) if birth dad will show up to the visits he is requesting 2) if David will cry the entire or almost the entire time and 3) how well birth dad handles a crying baby and whether he wants to schedule any more visits afterward.

The court date to terminate parental rights is set for January, so it is important we get the visits rolling if the birth dad is requesting them, so they cannot be used as a basis for appeal...not given your right to visit your child. 

I do have those pictures I printed for birth dad back for his September visit.  Now I just need to decide if I will provide additional ones or just leave it at that for now.  Also I should probably pick up a disposable camera in case birth dad does show up.  It would be nice to have something to offer both David and James as they get older if they are curious about what their birth dad looks like.

I was quite frustrated when I first got the voicemail from my agency worker, but now that I have talked with her and realize the visits will only be twice a week, I am handling it a lot better.  I did give my worker fair warning that David will most likely cry the entire time.