Another Year

Bringing in the year 2012...Remembering 2011

This year we were blessed to add another adorable little boy to our family in April.  That is the biggest and most important change our family experienced.

Hoping 2012 will bring...

The finalization of Sam's adoption


HAPPY NEW YEAR!  May your families be blessed with wonderful memories and unforgettable friendships in 2012!

So Different

I know each person is a unique individual, and it is funny to see how different Sam is than James.  Most of the time, my husband and I look at each other and say something along the lines of "I don't remember James doing that when he was this age." 

There are several differences...even in their mobility.  James didn't start crawling until nine months, and here Sam is crawling, climbing, and standing up all on his own.  I won't be surprised if Sam is walking before his first birthday.  James didn't walk on his own until around fifteen months.  I think the increased mobility allows us to experience various displays of Sam's ability.  For example, Sam already know how to open up the kitchen cupboards and drawers, so he is pulling out all kinds of cookware he finds.  If you are looking in the fridge, Sam will try to crawl inside and use the lower drawers to pull himself up, trying to lift his leg to climb higher into the fridge.

When James was a baby, he pushed teeth through like crazy!  He had eight teeth by the time he was nine months old.  They always came in twos, and once one set popped through, another was well on its way.  Sam currently has four teeth, and he is pushing through two more, so his teeth also seem to be coming in sets of two but at a much slower pace.  My husband and I say we would prefer for him to get his quicker because then even though it is torture (on the child and parents) for a little while, it is all done rather quickly...instead of smaller bouts of crankiness more spread out.

James was always such an easy going baby, and I must say, for the most part, Sam is pretty easy going as well.  However, Sam already displays his temper quite passionately when things don't go his way.  I am a little worried about what his toddler tantrums will look like.  Although James was a happy, mostly quiet baby, he can sure throw an enormous tantrum...starting shy of his second birthday.

My boys are great fun, and it is interesting to look at their differences and imagine how they will be as they grow older.

Christmas Hangover

Before you get concerned, I am not talking a hangover in the alcoholic sense...just the overwhelming, over-stimulation and chaos that overpowered our precious James and how we are still dealing with the fall out from that.

Instead of diving right into that subject, I want to start by saying I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.  Overall I would say our Christmas was enjoyable...just jam packed and a bit crazy.  For our family, it was like we had four Christmases in two days.  Christmas Eve morning we had an aunt and cousin over for breakfast pizza and to open gifts.  Christmas Eve we spent at my in-laws for dinner and the gifts.  Christmas morning was just the four of us at home together (and some time spent at the park) followed by an evening at my parent's house for dinner and gifts.

James was pretty cute in regards to Christmas.  If you ask him who was born on Christmas, he will respond with "baby Jesus".  We actually made homemade cinnamon rolls on Christmas and said happy birthday to Jesus...just as a way to make it fun for James at his current age.

Anyway...Christmas was chaos in its finest form.  We discovered the same thing last year for James, and I have a feeling he won't be growing out of it any time soon.  Then again, James is a fan of routine, so when that is thrown off (later bedtimes both nights, lots of people), he doesn't handle it in the most amazing manner, but who can blame him?  There were several Christmas melt-downs, and James really wasn't interested in opening his gifts as people are shoving them at him and waiting expectantly for a perfect reaction...they certainly didn't get what they hoped for, that's for sure.  I am not sure what people expect...James is two, almost three, and although his cousin is close to the same age (he turned three early December), they are quite different personalities.  I think my brother and sister-in-law expected excited reactions to everything, and they seemed disappointed when they didn't get that reaction.  Their son is more excited about opening the gifts and everything, so their expectations are different.  You have to keep in mind this was James' fourth Christmas celebration, so by this time, he really isn't all that thrilled about opening gifts (not that he was from the beginning though).

Now it has been three days since Christmas, and we are still dealing with the melt-downs from James.  Perhaps some of it is due to his age, but I think a lot of it is still recuperating from Christmas in general.  All the toys are overwhelming, I think, too.  I am considering putting some away and pulling them out later.  James is constantly snatching toys away from Sam or not wanting Sam to play in the same area as he is in.  I have to remind James that some of those toys are Sam's, and Sam is sharing them with him, so he needs to let Sam play as well.  Then there has been a sudden increase in hitting Sam when James gets frustrated as well.  Just this morning, we have had three different incidents that caused time-outs to take place.

I am ready for the Christmas craziness to dissipate...even if that means we need to pull down the Christmas tree earlier than normal and put all the decorations away.  If that will help our boys calm down (mainly James), by all means, I am ready to do what it takes.  It probably doesn't help that both boys are constantly wanting my undivided attention for the past couple days...or at least that is how it feels to me.  Yesterday I even put all my energy into playing with James while Sam was taking his morning nap...we played trucks in the backyard, played with Play Dough, played with trains inside (pretty much anything James wanted to do), and even after that, he still insisted on my utmost attention when Sam woke up...I was hoping that would help the situation, but it really didn't, and I didn't get any housework done either.

I know things will settle back into place...I just wish I knew when it would calm back down. 

Red Light, Green Light

This afternoon James wanted to ride his bike, so I loaded Sam into the jogging stroller, and we set off on our adventure.  I didn't have a good reason for us not to go outside considering James is almost fully recovered from being sick, and Sam just has a lingering cough (although an unpleasant cough that did effect his sleeping ability last night) and a little bit of a runny nose.  My husband still has the worst of it, and he has been sick the longest.  Sam is in the running for second worst.  James probably suffered the least.  I am not sure about me just yet...both yesterday and today I have felt sick, but I have been able to hold it together and still do our normal activities...not that I have much choice anyway.  I'm afraid it may hit me harder once I have a chance to rest...either that or once everyone is fully recovered.

Anyway...James rode his bike around outside for about forty-five minutes before we started to head back to the house.  On the way back, James just stopped his bike and sat there waiting.  I pulled the stroller up next to him and asked why we had stopped.  James responded "I'm waiting for it to turn green."  "Oh, are we stopped at a red light?" I asked.  James enthusiastically said yes and then we continued this game for quite some time on the way home.  James would stop and say "Stop, the light is red." followed by "Go, it turned green."  Too cute!  Our first game of "Red Light, Green Light" initiated by James by no other reason than his imagination.

Broken Ornament

It finally happened! One of the ornaments fell from the Christmas tree and shattered beneath it.  I didn't actually see it take place, and I am not sure the exact cause; however, I do know that Sam crawled over to the tree and was holding a large broken piece of glass.  Fortunately, I was able to remove the glass from his hand as well as beneath the tree before anyone got hurt or tried to consume it.

Between James using the tree as his new diaper filling station (he likes to hide behind it) and the boys playing in and around the tree...including try to hang the toys on the tree or throwing small plastic balls at the tree, I am thinking somehow the ornament got knocked down during play.  I don't blame the kiddos, but I am a little sad because it was a beautiful painted ball ornament with an angel and shepherd on it that was given to me by my mom several years ago. 

The lesson learned is perhaps I will wait a couple more years before I hang fragile ornaments on the tree.  Although the fragile ornaments were hung out of reach, apparently that was not a good enough solution. 

Whole Household

As of last night, our entire household is sick.  My husband has been sick (sore throat, headache, congestion) for about a week.  Sam started his fever at 2:30 a.m. on Monday.  Last night Sam, James and I all had fevers...Sam's being the highest...James and I being at upper 99.  We ended up giving Sam a dose of infant Tylenol before bed...after he had projectile vomited his whole bottle contents all over himself, my husband and the floor.  Poor baby!  Sam woke up and needed comfort last night along with a small bottle (didn't want to give him too much in case his stomach couldn't handle it) and rocked back to sleep.  He woke up several more times, but he just briefly fussed and fell back to sleep.

This morning everyone's temperatures are back in the normal range...thank goodness!  I was going to call and schedule a doctor appointment for Sam, but since his fever is gone, and his congestion is not as bad, I decided to wait.  Both boys are feeling poorly...evident by their extra fussiness and behavior.  I am doing alright...mainly I just have a headache at the moment...however, I also don't have much time to rest, so it may all hit me later on.

I am hoping with one more day of resting at home, we will all be back to our normal selves in time for Christmas.  We already had to cancel some fun Christmas plans for today (doing the holiday lights at the local zoo and riding the special train with all the cousins), so I am hoping we don't have to back out of any other fun activities.

I always feel so bad when my kiddos are sick.  I am praying we are all on the mend and the worst is behind us.

Poor Little Baby

Sam woke up crying around 2:30 a.m.  I went into his room to get him thinking that he probably needed a bottle due to his teething.  When I picked Sam up, he felt like he was burning up temperature wise.  I changed his diaper and just left him in a diaper while I put his bottle together and started to feed him.  Then I found the thermometer and discovered my poor baby has a temperature of 102.1.  I woke up my husband, so he could pull out the infant Tylenol while I continued feeding Sam his bottle.  I gave Sam the proper dose, finished feeding his bottle, and rocked him to sleep.

Here I am up with the poor baby again...he woke up shy of two hours after going back to sleep.  I have tried rocking him, but he is not ready to fall back to sleep at the moment.  I always hate it when my kiddos are sick but especially when they are this little.

Baby Dedications

This morning at church they had some baby dedications.  I was happy for all those families and their adorable little ones, but part of me was a little sad because I wish we could do the same with Sam.  Soon enough we will be able to...hopefully before his second birthday, but we will see.

First Hair Cut

Sam got his first hair cut today.  We took him to fancy children's salon where he was able to sit in a police car during his hair cut.  It is the same place we took James when he got his first hair cut as well. 

Poor little Sam screamed and cried almost the entire time.  He calmed down very briefly part way through but started getting upset again.  Then the very last stretch, Sam finally grew content and was happy to sit through the remaining few minutes.  I felt bad for the little guy, but I was right there encouraging him and trying to calm him by holding his hand and rubbing his back. 

Boy, does Sam look so handsome with his hair cut!  Of course, he was already handsome, but now even more so.  : )

Proud of James

We started putting James in pull-ups instead of diapers...to see if would help us with the whole concept a little more.  James has done fantastic in pull-ups!  If he continues, we will stop using pull-ups and go straight to underwear. 

Originally we weren't going to use pull-ups, but we haven't had much success doing straight underwear...James still seemed to think that it was okay to just pee in his pants, and he had no care in the world.

Yesterday when I put James in pull-ups, James let me know every time he had to go potty...even when he was eating lunch.  Then today we took Sam out to get his first haircut, and while we were walking through a store afterward, James informed us he had to go potty, so I rushed him to the restroom, and he was able to hold it until I got him on the toilet.  We gave James lots of praise and a small treat for being such a big boy.  I am not sure if James just grasps the potty training concept better because he is more aware of his body or it the pull-ups make him feel like a big boy, but either way, I am happy with the results.

If James has a few more good days, we will make the major switch to straight underwear and just deal with the consequences when accidents occur.  Nap and bedtimes would still be exceptions until James starts being regularly dry after waking.  Although I am tempted to at least wait until Christmas is over, so that is not one more stressful thing while visiting family and everything.  At the same time, if James is continuing to do so well, I would rather move at his pace and get him settled in regular underwear sooner.  We will see.

Brag on Husband

I just want to brag on my husband a little bit.  The boys and I are part of a mom's group that meets twice a week, and we had a Christmas party the other day.  We were in need of a husband to stand in as the role of Santa for the party, and my husband volunteered himself for the part.  And for those who are curious, no, I did not try to persuade him...I just let him know about the need, and he said he would help out if no one else stepped forward.

He did a great job as Santa, and for the most part, the children loved him!  If he ever dresses as Santa in the future, though, we will have to disguise his dark eyebrows.  Although my husband is not an outgoing, super social personality, he stepped up for the part and helped make the children so happy.

For our boys, we had opposite reactions.  Sam, the newest one to the Santa idea, was thrilled to sit in his lap and kept trying to climb up unto his lap afterward too.  James, on the other hand, didn't really want anything to do with Santa...although he did like the gift Santa brought for him.

My husband is a wonderful man...a terrific husband and an amazing father.  I couldn't be more blessed!

Christmas Blessing

It looks like Sam won't be having a goodbye visit with either parent now.  Our worker looked into things, and it was decided that no further visits will be given.

This is probably really selfish on my part, but I am so relieved!  I consider it a Christmas blessing for our family.

Frustrated: A Vent

So I find out this afternoon that birth dad was never informed that his last visit was his goodbye visit, so the attorney is requesting a final visit.  This frustrates me because both my caseworker and I told the transporter (the person supervising the visit) that it was the goodbye visit.  Anyway...it look like birth dad gets another visit with Sam.  Since the case was closed on visits, a new transporter will most likely get the case meaning that a stranger will essentially pick Sam up, so he can go visit another stranger.  My poor baby!

Then on top of that, birth mom was recently released from jail, and she, too, is requesting a goodbye visit.  So not only does Sam have to deal with one visit with a stranger, but he will have two since the parents cannot get along well enough to have visits together.  Last time the birth mom refused to hold Sam the whole time...she has only seen him three times since he was born.  My heart breaks for my little baby boy!

Hopefully he won't be too stressed out about the two visits...he usually gets pretty clingy afterward.  However, he is also starting to be more aware of who is caring for him and displays some separation anxiety.

I just wish the adoption could be final, and this would all be over and done with.  Oh well!

Visit from Santa

We have been going out as a family and going for a walk together after dinner, baths, and pajamas...not every night but fairly regularly.  Last night we were especially excited to go for our walk because we knew that Santa would be coming through the neighborhood with fire trucks and police cars in tow.  We figured it would be fun for the boys...mostly James.

I was impressed with how well the city did up the whole Santa visit.  One of the fire trucks was covered in Christmas lights, and lots of the police officers and firemen were calling out "Merry Christmas" and "Happy Holidays" over loud speakers from their perches in the vehicles.  Whenever they saw a group of children standing by, they would stop the procession, so the kids could get closer to see Santa and get a candy cane from him.  They were also collecting canned goods while they were cruising through.

Each night Santa is going through different neighborhoods, and we just happened to notice he would be going through ours that same evening when we were searching online for good Christmas displays in our area.  We were glad we were able to be a part of that excitement.  It definitely did not disappoint...in fact, it was more impressive than I thought it was going to be. 

James thoroughly enjoyed the display.  We had to follow the precession around until they left our neighborhood.  Then on the walk back home James kept talking about Santa visiting that house (as he points to a house) and that one, etc.  This morning he told me he wanted to see Santa and the fire trucks again.  Even Sam had a good time...he actually started to fuss and cry once all the flashing lights were out of sight.

We plan on making this a planned activity every year because the kids really enjoyed it, and yes, even us adults thought it was wonderful.

Easy Nativity Craft

This weekend, my son, James, brought home a cute craft they made during church.  I decided I would share the idea so others can use it for their little ones if they are interested.

Essentially they took a cupcake liner, put a little glue inside and put some shredded lightly colored paper for the hay and then also glued in a little cut out of Baby Jesus.  The ribbon was stapled to the sides of the cupcake liner.

James was really excited about his Baby Jesus, and he was thrilled when I told him he could hang Baby Jesus up on the Christmas tree.

This is such a simple craft but also a simple way to tie in the true meaning behind Christmas as you talk and complete the craft together at home.  I really do love James' Sunday school class.  He has a great time, is excited to learn Bible stories, and makes some of the cutest little crafts.

Nine Month Check Up

Sam had his nine month check up today.  Everything went well.  The poor little guy had to get the flu vaccine and returns next month to get the second injection.  Since Sam is still a foster child, we really have no say in this.  If we had already adopted Sam, we would have opted out of the flu vaccine.  The other vaccines we have continued on a normal schedule for James after his adoption, and we will do the same with Sam; however, we have never done the flu vaccine for ourselves or for James, and fortunately, when James was a foster baby, the doctor's office never brought it up, and I never asked about it. 

This year our aunt and cousin both got the flu vaccines and both ended up sick for about a week afterward with the flu.

I did ask about trying yogurt with Sam since he is currently on soy formula and I wasn't sure how that should all work out.  The doctor gave permission to start yogurt and to just watch Sam for adverse reactions.  If he has adverse reactions, stop feeding him yogurt...simple enough, and I would have done the same anyway.  I am hoping yogurt is not an issue because then perhaps there isn't a milk allergy or intolerance...perhaps his tiny newborn tummy just couldn't handle the milk protein.

So far so good on all health related issues with Sam.  : )

Appeal Filed

The title says it all...I found out from my worker that birth dad has filed an appeal to the TPR (termination of parental rights) decision.  This really doesn't change anything...it just drags out the adoption process even longer.  I have been told to expect it to take up to twelve months.

I am torn.  I expected birth dad to file an appeal, and in fact, if he hadn't perhaps I would have been a little disappointed because it would have shown that he gives up easily.  After all he has fought little steps along the way...why wouldn't he fight this big decision?  Also if I were in his shoes, most definitely, I would appeal that decision.  However, the fact remains that I would never find myself in his shoes because my life is not involved in the all the same addicting behaviors as his.  That is probably not fair to say...after all there are mental health issues at play too, so not everything is within his control, but if the other addictions were not so important in his life, he could probably manage the mental health and be capable of raising his son...or at least he might have a healthy support system that could aid him in the care of his child.  Truth be told, he doesn't have that available to him otherwise Sam would be there instead of here.

On the other hand, I want Sam to be a legal member of our family.  He is already a member in every other way.  There is something wonderful about your children having your family name (last name).  I want to be able to have Sam dedicated at church.  Not only that, but it would be wonderful to add him to our health insurance because, in my opinion, the quality of care varies drastically between private and state insurance...I noticed this with James as well. 

I am glad I will be able to tell Sam that his birth dad fought for him...I imagine that must be some comfort to Sam as he gets older.  At the same time, I imagine that raises lots of questions too.  All I can do is pray for wisdom and hope I am able to offer what Sam needs as he journeys through his life and makes his own decisions.

Dancing

Sometimes I will put some music on, and the boys and I will dance in the living room together...just being silly and having fun.  This morning we danced for a good while, and once James started getting tired, he had me hold him and dance with him.  Too cute!  This definitely won't last forever, so I need to enjoy all these precious moments...and try to remember them when the boys get older and want nothing to do with me.  : )

It is great fun to watch James dance on his own!  He just goes crazy and makes up some of the cutest dance moves and gymnastic tricks (he will somersault or stand on his head leaning against the couch).  Usually he wants everyone to join in with him, and he just has a blast. 

Sam will move around to the music a little bit and have a big smile on his face.  He also laughs a lot at James because he loves watching his older brother be silly.

Dancing makes a great rainy day activity too.  Even if you can't dance (like me), it doesn't matter because young children don't know that...at least not yet.  Same goes for singing...feel free to sing your heart out with your kids...they won't know you are out of tune or saying the wrong words.  They just enjoy the music and love that you are willing to be involved with them.

Better to Give Than Receive

This morning at church the topic was "It is better to give than to receive."  Although this does not relate solely to money, that was more the focus point of this particular discussion.  Our pastor spoke regarding the blessings that get poured out into your life when you give, but not only for yourself, also to the one with whom you have given.  If you just hold onto the money and keep it in your grasp, no one is gaining a blessing from it.  This is not to say if your family is struggling financially and do not have extra money, you should give it all away...nothing extreme like that...more of a spirit of generosity in your heart.  This can also apply to giving of your time to help a friend or neighbor or to volunteer at a soup kitchen or even at your church.  There is something truly enriching about giving of yourself.

I still remember attending a youth conference in high school with my church group.  During one of our breaks, we all went out walking around town to grab a bite to eat.  Outside there was a homeless man asking for money, and I dug into my pocket and pulled out all the change I had and gave it to him.  In my heart I felt compassion and wanted to give even if it was just a little bit.  To this day I still remember the people around me...my fellow church goers, criticizing my decision to give money to the man...stating that he would probably use it to buy alcohol or something.  First of all I thought I hadn't given him all that much money, and secondly shouldn't we as the church be reaching out to those in need.  I talked with a wiser adult later about that situation, and I was told that we can only do what our heart is prompting us to do, but we cannot control what the other person does with our gift.  God knows the condition of our heart, and as long as our motives are pure, it doesn't matter what happens with our gift.

Somewhere in my life I developed a love for giving.  Since God has blessed me, I desire to pour blessings out into the lives of others.  I enjoy giving financially...purchasing gifts for the Angel Tree, donating to our church's food drive to help the local food banks, sending money to a missionary family overseas, sponsoring a child in Uganda, etc.  To me this is rewarding, and I know the money is going to further God's kingdom.  What is more difficult for me is the giving of my own personal time.  I do volunteer with my church's special needs program every other week, and sometimes I will try to help in other ways, but my heart is not always into it.  This is something I need to pray to improve in my own life. 

If I want my boys to grow to be generous with their money and time, I need to make more of an effort to display those actions in my everyday life.  Children even at a young age start to pick up on the examples of their parents.

Running Errands

This morning I took the boys out with me to run a couple errands.  I had to go to post office and the bank and wanted those tasks completed first thing, so the businesses wouldn't be as busy.  At the post office we waited in line and purchased some holiday stamps which we could have done at a grocery store or pretty much anywhere; however, I also needed to make sure our Christmas cards didn't need any extra postage because the envelopes seemed awfully large especially for the 4x6 photo card contained inside.  Thankfully one stamp is all that is required, so James helped me put stamps on the Christmas cards.  He really enjoyed putting the cards in the mail slot though...that was probably his favorite part of our errand running. 

Next we stopped at the bank to deposit and cash a check.  We went inside because I only wanted to deposit a portion of the check and cash the rest for my monthly grocery expenses.  We had to wait just a little bit before being helped.  The teller got a kick out of Sam in the Baby Bjorn and James on my hip.  One of the tellers actually came over and talked to us while we were being helped.  She asked me "Is that James?" and when I told her yes, she responded James had grown so much.  She then went on to inquire with James about his baby brother.  That was really sweet.  I am surprised she remembered us.  It seemed like she was the only teller we ever got at the bank for the longest time, adn then I hadn't seen her in awhile, but we happened to run into her today.  Before we left the bank, the boys were both given a sticker.  James had fun placing one sticker on his shirt and one on Sam's overalls.

Since James and Sam both did so well on those errands which can be a little crazy, we stopped at the grocery store, and I allowed James to pick out a treat from the bakery for us to take home and share with Daddy.  Daddy stayed home today to continue his work on the Jeep.  James chose chocolate croissants, but once home he hardly nibbled on his.

The rest of the morning was spent having fun.  James rode his balance bike for about an hour.  Then we raked up leaves into piles and jumped in them, moved them around, and made new piles.  James and Sam both had fun playing in the leaves.

I still have more errands to run because I need to get the rest of the gifts for the Angel Tree at our church.  They are due this weekend, and so far I am only 1/4 of the way done.  Each child gets a clothing item and a toy item.  So far I have a basketball for one of the toy items.  Thankfully my mother-in-law volunteered to stop by and watch the boys, so I can finish the Angel Tree shopping without having to tote them along.  It is much harder to actually take time to peruse clothing with the boys.

Growing up so Fast

I am not only addressing our little baby who is not such a little baby anymore, but also our almost three year old son as well.  It is incredible to see how much they have both grown and how their skills have progressed.

Sam is an active little guy who is constantly crawling, climbing and standing up on everything.  There have been a few times he has stood all on his own without holding on, but he only last a second or two before falling over.  I imagine his first step is right around the corner.  Not only that but Sam is quite the wiggle worm when it comes to diaper changes and getting dressed.  Sometimes it feels like I have to wrestle him to get any clothes on the baby.  And, boy, can Sam eat!  He is a terrific eater...doing great with finger foods, pureed foods, and of course his bottle.  Sam is also a water baby...he will hear the water start running in the bathtub, and down the hall he races as fast as his hands and knees can carry him.  We have already noticed that Sam has a good temper and can be quite stubborn, and if it is obvious at this age, we wonder what we will be getting into once he is a toddler.

James is building quite the vocabulary and putting sentences and stories together frequently.  Granted, I cannot understand every word he says, but generally I get the idea of what he is telling me.  James will recount activities we have done or request that we do specific activities as well.  He is such a delight in his conversations, and my husband and I are constantly amazed at his knowledge.  James is doing amazingly well on his balance bike too!  Lately he wants to ride it constantly, and I usually have to load Sam into the jogger, so I can make sure I will be able to keep up with James. 

I am so proud of my boys!