Adoption Support Group

Last night was our adoption support group.  Not only do we gain two of our required twelve hours of training  by attending, but we are also able to share experiences with like-minded people.  I realize my wording sounds a bit strange, but I cannot think of a better way to describe it.  There is a connection when discussing life with other adoptive families.  I think most of it goes to the fact that they too understand the same questions, concerns and worries for their kiddos...there is a greater breadth of understanding. 

People say adoption is widely accepted in the world today, and although that is true, there is a still a disconnect.  I run across it sometimes in my discussions with other moms.  I find myself often feeling like an outsider during certain discussions through no fault of anyone else...solely because my perspective can be so different and my worries for the future seem more complex.  On top of all the normal motherly worries for their kiddos, I am compounded by adoption worries...how will my boys react to being adopted...will they run off to their biological families and follow in those footsteps as they get older...even being honest and open about their adoption, how will we handle their questions, anxieties and identity searching.  Adoption is a wonderful thing, but it is not usually portrayed so well in society.

Anyway...we met a lot of new couples at the adoption support group last night.  The group has changed a lot because several families finalized their adoptions recently and will no longer be joining us.  It is weird to think my husband and I are considered veterans since we have been a part of the group for so long.  There is one other couple that have been attending a long time as well, so at least we are not the only ones.  Our perspective is different even in our group and being the longest as part of the group because our children are really young.  Most everyone in the group had children ages 5-11 in their homes, so the issues they are dealing with are not the same as the ones we will encounter...although a lot of topics mesh with all age groups.

Our group will be reading and discussing the book, The Connected Child, by Karyn Purvis and David Cross (both having a Ph.D.).  Perhaps as we trudge through the book, I will try to put little nuggets of information or even just journal my thoughts about the book here in my blog for those who are interested.  Our adoption support group only meets every other month, so it will not be quickly finished.  I believe our first reading assignment is to read the first three chapters and answer some discussion questions that were given to us.  Hopefully the book is a good tool.

I will miss the old structure of the adoption support group, where we mainly discussed what is happening in our home and did get some useful information or resources in the process.  Now we will spend the first hour on our book discussion and open up the second hour to talk about anything going on in the home.

As some else has mentioned, adoption is a life long journey.  It doesn't end at a particular age, and there are always modifications that will need to be made along the way...just as in regular parenting.