Different Dads

Today I took my boys to the park to play with some of our friends from our moms group.  A lot of the moms in the group already know my story...how our family chose foster/adopt as the way to add members to our family.  Most of them were there to hear the news of James's adoption.  However, the group is continually growing as new moms join.  Today I was pushing Sam in the baby swing while another mom pushed her little one in the swing next to us.  Every once in awhile I would glance around to make sure I could spot James.  When the mom realized James belonged to me, she seemed quite surprised.  Then she turned to me and said "Your boys have different dads, huh?"  I just answered "yes" because truthfully they do; however, I was a little taken aback...I am not even sure why...I guess it just came across weird to me.  I then went on to explain to the other mom a little bit of our story of how we became a family.

I am not sure if I told the story because I didn't want her to think I slept around with different men, because I wanted to inform her since we may see each other a lot at the play date, or because I was trying to make adoption a more familiar topic.  Another comment that was made was "I would have never guessed James was your son".  In all reality there is nothing to take offense in throughout this whole conversation.  I guess I should expect more comments now that I am mom to a bi-racial boy and a little red headed child, and perhaps that is why I was thrown off.  When it was just James and me out and about, everyone probably just assumed I had a black husband and didn't think twice about it...unless they saw the whole family out together, I suppose.  Now I need to prepare myself to deal with comments that may come across as rude to me, and in doing so, I will also be preparing my children for how to deal with similar situations.  Thankfully this whole conversation took place in front of Sam who is too little to understand rather than in front of James. 

Yes, my boys have different dads.  In fact they have different moms as well.  However, they are a part of our family, and I am their mom, and my husband is their dad, and they are our most precious sons.  I hope one day our boys will believe that as well.