New Visit Supervisor

I received a call last week informing me that a new visit supervisor has been assigned to the sibling visits.  The new supervisor is the same lady that used to supervise Tony's (Sam's brother's) visits with his birth parents.  We had to cancel the original sibling visit date scheduled for this month and establish a new one.  At first I was being asked to consider the afternoon (after 1 p.m.), but I said I can only do mornings due to the boys' nap schedules.  So we finally settled on a Monday morning that worked for both of us.

I am working out the details now of getting a baby-sitter lined up for James as my regulars are unavailable.  My husband and I both don't like taking James to the visits...I have had to a couple times, but it is not ideal.

Thankfully Sam's adoption should be taking place soon and then we can have more say in the visits...how often they take place, where they take place, etc.  The visits definitely won't be as often as they are right now.  Besides it always seems like the other foster mom is calling last minute to either cancel the visit or hoping I will do so, and I imagine she won't do a good job keeping visits in the future either.

Speaking of calls, I got a call from the other foster mom this morning asking if there was a visit today or not.  This would have been the visit day if the supervisor did not change.  I returned the phone call and let her know when our next visit is scheduled for.  She went on to tell me she will call closer to the date to make sure we are still having the visit.  It is frustrating to me...I assume the visit is taking place once scheduled unless I am told otherwise.  I have a feeling that will be another ploy to attempt to cancel the visit. We will see.

The other foster mom also mentioned Tony has been asking her "Where is my daddy?" a lot lately.  She seemed quite distraught about this and said the first time he asked, she just cried.  She is going to talk to her worker about how she should handle this situation.  I am of the opinion that she should have been prepared for this question...I don't think it is necessarily tied to the birth parents but instead because Tony lives in a home with two moms, and he probably sees the other kids have both a mom and a dad.  In my mind, this is a normal question for Tony to ask.

However, on that same note, I want to be open and honest with my boys as they get older when they have questions about their birth families.  I am limited in my knowledge, and not all of it will be age appropriate (depending on how old they are when they ask), but I want them to have access to everything I know when they grow up.