Another Year

Bringing in the year 2012...Remembering 2011

This year we were blessed to add another adorable little boy to our family in April.  That is the biggest and most important change our family experienced.

Hoping 2012 will bring...

The finalization of Sam's adoption


HAPPY NEW YEAR!  May your families be blessed with wonderful memories and unforgettable friendships in 2012!

So Different

I know each person is a unique individual, and it is funny to see how different Sam is than James.  Most of the time, my husband and I look at each other and say something along the lines of "I don't remember James doing that when he was this age." 

There are several differences...even in their mobility.  James didn't start crawling until nine months, and here Sam is crawling, climbing, and standing up all on his own.  I won't be surprised if Sam is walking before his first birthday.  James didn't walk on his own until around fifteen months.  I think the increased mobility allows us to experience various displays of Sam's ability.  For example, Sam already know how to open up the kitchen cupboards and drawers, so he is pulling out all kinds of cookware he finds.  If you are looking in the fridge, Sam will try to crawl inside and use the lower drawers to pull himself up, trying to lift his leg to climb higher into the fridge.

When James was a baby, he pushed teeth through like crazy!  He had eight teeth by the time he was nine months old.  They always came in twos, and once one set popped through, another was well on its way.  Sam currently has four teeth, and he is pushing through two more, so his teeth also seem to be coming in sets of two but at a much slower pace.  My husband and I say we would prefer for him to get his quicker because then even though it is torture (on the child and parents) for a little while, it is all done rather quickly...instead of smaller bouts of crankiness more spread out.

James was always such an easy going baby, and I must say, for the most part, Sam is pretty easy going as well.  However, Sam already displays his temper quite passionately when things don't go his way.  I am a little worried about what his toddler tantrums will look like.  Although James was a happy, mostly quiet baby, he can sure throw an enormous tantrum...starting shy of his second birthday.

My boys are great fun, and it is interesting to look at their differences and imagine how they will be as they grow older.

Christmas Hangover

Before you get concerned, I am not talking a hangover in the alcoholic sense...just the overwhelming, over-stimulation and chaos that overpowered our precious James and how we are still dealing with the fall out from that.

Instead of diving right into that subject, I want to start by saying I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.  Overall I would say our Christmas was enjoyable...just jam packed and a bit crazy.  For our family, it was like we had four Christmases in two days.  Christmas Eve morning we had an aunt and cousin over for breakfast pizza and to open gifts.  Christmas Eve we spent at my in-laws for dinner and the gifts.  Christmas morning was just the four of us at home together (and some time spent at the park) followed by an evening at my parent's house for dinner and gifts.

James was pretty cute in regards to Christmas.  If you ask him who was born on Christmas, he will respond with "baby Jesus".  We actually made homemade cinnamon rolls on Christmas and said happy birthday to Jesus...just as a way to make it fun for James at his current age.

Anyway...Christmas was chaos in its finest form.  We discovered the same thing last year for James, and I have a feeling he won't be growing out of it any time soon.  Then again, James is a fan of routine, so when that is thrown off (later bedtimes both nights, lots of people), he doesn't handle it in the most amazing manner, but who can blame him?  There were several Christmas melt-downs, and James really wasn't interested in opening his gifts as people are shoving them at him and waiting expectantly for a perfect reaction...they certainly didn't get what they hoped for, that's for sure.  I am not sure what people expect...James is two, almost three, and although his cousin is close to the same age (he turned three early December), they are quite different personalities.  I think my brother and sister-in-law expected excited reactions to everything, and they seemed disappointed when they didn't get that reaction.  Their son is more excited about opening the gifts and everything, so their expectations are different.  You have to keep in mind this was James' fourth Christmas celebration, so by this time, he really isn't all that thrilled about opening gifts (not that he was from the beginning though).

Now it has been three days since Christmas, and we are still dealing with the melt-downs from James.  Perhaps some of it is due to his age, but I think a lot of it is still recuperating from Christmas in general.  All the toys are overwhelming, I think, too.  I am considering putting some away and pulling them out later.  James is constantly snatching toys away from Sam or not wanting Sam to play in the same area as he is in.  I have to remind James that some of those toys are Sam's, and Sam is sharing them with him, so he needs to let Sam play as well.  Then there has been a sudden increase in hitting Sam when James gets frustrated as well.  Just this morning, we have had three different incidents that caused time-outs to take place.

I am ready for the Christmas craziness to dissipate...even if that means we need to pull down the Christmas tree earlier than normal and put all the decorations away.  If that will help our boys calm down (mainly James), by all means, I am ready to do what it takes.  It probably doesn't help that both boys are constantly wanting my undivided attention for the past couple days...or at least that is how it feels to me.  Yesterday I even put all my energy into playing with James while Sam was taking his morning nap...we played trucks in the backyard, played with Play Dough, played with trains inside (pretty much anything James wanted to do), and even after that, he still insisted on my utmost attention when Sam woke up...I was hoping that would help the situation, but it really didn't, and I didn't get any housework done either.

I know things will settle back into place...I just wish I knew when it would calm back down. 

Red Light, Green Light

This afternoon James wanted to ride his bike, so I loaded Sam into the jogging stroller, and we set off on our adventure.  I didn't have a good reason for us not to go outside considering James is almost fully recovered from being sick, and Sam just has a lingering cough (although an unpleasant cough that did effect his sleeping ability last night) and a little bit of a runny nose.  My husband still has the worst of it, and he has been sick the longest.  Sam is in the running for second worst.  James probably suffered the least.  I am not sure about me just yet...both yesterday and today I have felt sick, but I have been able to hold it together and still do our normal activities...not that I have much choice anyway.  I'm afraid it may hit me harder once I have a chance to rest...either that or once everyone is fully recovered.

Anyway...James rode his bike around outside for about forty-five minutes before we started to head back to the house.  On the way back, James just stopped his bike and sat there waiting.  I pulled the stroller up next to him and asked why we had stopped.  James responded "I'm waiting for it to turn green."  "Oh, are we stopped at a red light?" I asked.  James enthusiastically said yes and then we continued this game for quite some time on the way home.  James would stop and say "Stop, the light is red." followed by "Go, it turned green."  Too cute!  Our first game of "Red Light, Green Light" initiated by James by no other reason than his imagination.

Broken Ornament

It finally happened! One of the ornaments fell from the Christmas tree and shattered beneath it.  I didn't actually see it take place, and I am not sure the exact cause; however, I do know that Sam crawled over to the tree and was holding a large broken piece of glass.  Fortunately, I was able to remove the glass from his hand as well as beneath the tree before anyone got hurt or tried to consume it.

Between James using the tree as his new diaper filling station (he likes to hide behind it) and the boys playing in and around the tree...including try to hang the toys on the tree or throwing small plastic balls at the tree, I am thinking somehow the ornament got knocked down during play.  I don't blame the kiddos, but I am a little sad because it was a beautiful painted ball ornament with an angel and shepherd on it that was given to me by my mom several years ago. 

The lesson learned is perhaps I will wait a couple more years before I hang fragile ornaments on the tree.  Although the fragile ornaments were hung out of reach, apparently that was not a good enough solution. 

Whole Household

As of last night, our entire household is sick.  My husband has been sick (sore throat, headache, congestion) for about a week.  Sam started his fever at 2:30 a.m. on Monday.  Last night Sam, James and I all had fevers...Sam's being the highest...James and I being at upper 99.  We ended up giving Sam a dose of infant Tylenol before bed...after he had projectile vomited his whole bottle contents all over himself, my husband and the floor.  Poor baby!  Sam woke up and needed comfort last night along with a small bottle (didn't want to give him too much in case his stomach couldn't handle it) and rocked back to sleep.  He woke up several more times, but he just briefly fussed and fell back to sleep.

This morning everyone's temperatures are back in the normal range...thank goodness!  I was going to call and schedule a doctor appointment for Sam, but since his fever is gone, and his congestion is not as bad, I decided to wait.  Both boys are feeling poorly...evident by their extra fussiness and behavior.  I am doing alright...mainly I just have a headache at the moment...however, I also don't have much time to rest, so it may all hit me later on.

I am hoping with one more day of resting at home, we will all be back to our normal selves in time for Christmas.  We already had to cancel some fun Christmas plans for today (doing the holiday lights at the local zoo and riding the special train with all the cousins), so I am hoping we don't have to back out of any other fun activities.

I always feel so bad when my kiddos are sick.  I am praying we are all on the mend and the worst is behind us.

Poor Little Baby

Sam woke up crying around 2:30 a.m.  I went into his room to get him thinking that he probably needed a bottle due to his teething.  When I picked Sam up, he felt like he was burning up temperature wise.  I changed his diaper and just left him in a diaper while I put his bottle together and started to feed him.  Then I found the thermometer and discovered my poor baby has a temperature of 102.1.  I woke up my husband, so he could pull out the infant Tylenol while I continued feeding Sam his bottle.  I gave Sam the proper dose, finished feeding his bottle, and rocked him to sleep.

Here I am up with the poor baby again...he woke up shy of two hours after going back to sleep.  I have tried rocking him, but he is not ready to fall back to sleep at the moment.  I always hate it when my kiddos are sick but especially when they are this little.

Baby Dedications

This morning at church they had some baby dedications.  I was happy for all those families and their adorable little ones, but part of me was a little sad because I wish we could do the same with Sam.  Soon enough we will be able to...hopefully before his second birthday, but we will see.

First Hair Cut

Sam got his first hair cut today.  We took him to fancy children's salon where he was able to sit in a police car during his hair cut.  It is the same place we took James when he got his first hair cut as well. 

Poor little Sam screamed and cried almost the entire time.  He calmed down very briefly part way through but started getting upset again.  Then the very last stretch, Sam finally grew content and was happy to sit through the remaining few minutes.  I felt bad for the little guy, but I was right there encouraging him and trying to calm him by holding his hand and rubbing his back. 

Boy, does Sam look so handsome with his hair cut!  Of course, he was already handsome, but now even more so.  : )

Proud of James

We started putting James in pull-ups instead of diapers...to see if would help us with the whole concept a little more.  James has done fantastic in pull-ups!  If he continues, we will stop using pull-ups and go straight to underwear. 

Originally we weren't going to use pull-ups, but we haven't had much success doing straight underwear...James still seemed to think that it was okay to just pee in his pants, and he had no care in the world.

Yesterday when I put James in pull-ups, James let me know every time he had to go potty...even when he was eating lunch.  Then today we took Sam out to get his first haircut, and while we were walking through a store afterward, James informed us he had to go potty, so I rushed him to the restroom, and he was able to hold it until I got him on the toilet.  We gave James lots of praise and a small treat for being such a big boy.  I am not sure if James just grasps the potty training concept better because he is more aware of his body or it the pull-ups make him feel like a big boy, but either way, I am happy with the results.

If James has a few more good days, we will make the major switch to straight underwear and just deal with the consequences when accidents occur.  Nap and bedtimes would still be exceptions until James starts being regularly dry after waking.  Although I am tempted to at least wait until Christmas is over, so that is not one more stressful thing while visiting family and everything.  At the same time, if James is continuing to do so well, I would rather move at his pace and get him settled in regular underwear sooner.  We will see.

Brag on Husband

I just want to brag on my husband a little bit.  The boys and I are part of a mom's group that meets twice a week, and we had a Christmas party the other day.  We were in need of a husband to stand in as the role of Santa for the party, and my husband volunteered himself for the part.  And for those who are curious, no, I did not try to persuade him...I just let him know about the need, and he said he would help out if no one else stepped forward.

He did a great job as Santa, and for the most part, the children loved him!  If he ever dresses as Santa in the future, though, we will have to disguise his dark eyebrows.  Although my husband is not an outgoing, super social personality, he stepped up for the part and helped make the children so happy.

For our boys, we had opposite reactions.  Sam, the newest one to the Santa idea, was thrilled to sit in his lap and kept trying to climb up unto his lap afterward too.  James, on the other hand, didn't really want anything to do with Santa...although he did like the gift Santa brought for him.

My husband is a wonderful man...a terrific husband and an amazing father.  I couldn't be more blessed!

Christmas Blessing

It looks like Sam won't be having a goodbye visit with either parent now.  Our worker looked into things, and it was decided that no further visits will be given.

This is probably really selfish on my part, but I am so relieved!  I consider it a Christmas blessing for our family.

Frustrated: A Vent

So I find out this afternoon that birth dad was never informed that his last visit was his goodbye visit, so the attorney is requesting a final visit.  This frustrates me because both my caseworker and I told the transporter (the person supervising the visit) that it was the goodbye visit.  Anyway...it look like birth dad gets another visit with Sam.  Since the case was closed on visits, a new transporter will most likely get the case meaning that a stranger will essentially pick Sam up, so he can go visit another stranger.  My poor baby!

Then on top of that, birth mom was recently released from jail, and she, too, is requesting a goodbye visit.  So not only does Sam have to deal with one visit with a stranger, but he will have two since the parents cannot get along well enough to have visits together.  Last time the birth mom refused to hold Sam the whole time...she has only seen him three times since he was born.  My heart breaks for my little baby boy!

Hopefully he won't be too stressed out about the two visits...he usually gets pretty clingy afterward.  However, he is also starting to be more aware of who is caring for him and displays some separation anxiety.

I just wish the adoption could be final, and this would all be over and done with.  Oh well!

Visit from Santa

We have been going out as a family and going for a walk together after dinner, baths, and pajamas...not every night but fairly regularly.  Last night we were especially excited to go for our walk because we knew that Santa would be coming through the neighborhood with fire trucks and police cars in tow.  We figured it would be fun for the boys...mostly James.

I was impressed with how well the city did up the whole Santa visit.  One of the fire trucks was covered in Christmas lights, and lots of the police officers and firemen were calling out "Merry Christmas" and "Happy Holidays" over loud speakers from their perches in the vehicles.  Whenever they saw a group of children standing by, they would stop the procession, so the kids could get closer to see Santa and get a candy cane from him.  They were also collecting canned goods while they were cruising through.

Each night Santa is going through different neighborhoods, and we just happened to notice he would be going through ours that same evening when we were searching online for good Christmas displays in our area.  We were glad we were able to be a part of that excitement.  It definitely did not disappoint...in fact, it was more impressive than I thought it was going to be. 

James thoroughly enjoyed the display.  We had to follow the precession around until they left our neighborhood.  Then on the walk back home James kept talking about Santa visiting that house (as he points to a house) and that one, etc.  This morning he told me he wanted to see Santa and the fire trucks again.  Even Sam had a good time...he actually started to fuss and cry once all the flashing lights were out of sight.

We plan on making this a planned activity every year because the kids really enjoyed it, and yes, even us adults thought it was wonderful.

Easy Nativity Craft

This weekend, my son, James, brought home a cute craft they made during church.  I decided I would share the idea so others can use it for their little ones if they are interested.

Essentially they took a cupcake liner, put a little glue inside and put some shredded lightly colored paper for the hay and then also glued in a little cut out of Baby Jesus.  The ribbon was stapled to the sides of the cupcake liner.

James was really excited about his Baby Jesus, and he was thrilled when I told him he could hang Baby Jesus up on the Christmas tree.

This is such a simple craft but also a simple way to tie in the true meaning behind Christmas as you talk and complete the craft together at home.  I really do love James' Sunday school class.  He has a great time, is excited to learn Bible stories, and makes some of the cutest little crafts.

Nine Month Check Up

Sam had his nine month check up today.  Everything went well.  The poor little guy had to get the flu vaccine and returns next month to get the second injection.  Since Sam is still a foster child, we really have no say in this.  If we had already adopted Sam, we would have opted out of the flu vaccine.  The other vaccines we have continued on a normal schedule for James after his adoption, and we will do the same with Sam; however, we have never done the flu vaccine for ourselves or for James, and fortunately, when James was a foster baby, the doctor's office never brought it up, and I never asked about it. 

This year our aunt and cousin both got the flu vaccines and both ended up sick for about a week afterward with the flu.

I did ask about trying yogurt with Sam since he is currently on soy formula and I wasn't sure how that should all work out.  The doctor gave permission to start yogurt and to just watch Sam for adverse reactions.  If he has adverse reactions, stop feeding him yogurt...simple enough, and I would have done the same anyway.  I am hoping yogurt is not an issue because then perhaps there isn't a milk allergy or intolerance...perhaps his tiny newborn tummy just couldn't handle the milk protein.

So far so good on all health related issues with Sam.  : )

Appeal Filed

The title says it all...I found out from my worker that birth dad has filed an appeal to the TPR (termination of parental rights) decision.  This really doesn't change anything...it just drags out the adoption process even longer.  I have been told to expect it to take up to twelve months.

I am torn.  I expected birth dad to file an appeal, and in fact, if he hadn't perhaps I would have been a little disappointed because it would have shown that he gives up easily.  After all he has fought little steps along the way...why wouldn't he fight this big decision?  Also if I were in his shoes, most definitely, I would appeal that decision.  However, the fact remains that I would never find myself in his shoes because my life is not involved in the all the same addicting behaviors as his.  That is probably not fair to say...after all there are mental health issues at play too, so not everything is within his control, but if the other addictions were not so important in his life, he could probably manage the mental health and be capable of raising his son...or at least he might have a healthy support system that could aid him in the care of his child.  Truth be told, he doesn't have that available to him otherwise Sam would be there instead of here.

On the other hand, I want Sam to be a legal member of our family.  He is already a member in every other way.  There is something wonderful about your children having your family name (last name).  I want to be able to have Sam dedicated at church.  Not only that, but it would be wonderful to add him to our health insurance because, in my opinion, the quality of care varies drastically between private and state insurance...I noticed this with James as well. 

I am glad I will be able to tell Sam that his birth dad fought for him...I imagine that must be some comfort to Sam as he gets older.  At the same time, I imagine that raises lots of questions too.  All I can do is pray for wisdom and hope I am able to offer what Sam needs as he journeys through his life and makes his own decisions.

Dancing

Sometimes I will put some music on, and the boys and I will dance in the living room together...just being silly and having fun.  This morning we danced for a good while, and once James started getting tired, he had me hold him and dance with him.  Too cute!  This definitely won't last forever, so I need to enjoy all these precious moments...and try to remember them when the boys get older and want nothing to do with me.  : )

It is great fun to watch James dance on his own!  He just goes crazy and makes up some of the cutest dance moves and gymnastic tricks (he will somersault or stand on his head leaning against the couch).  Usually he wants everyone to join in with him, and he just has a blast. 

Sam will move around to the music a little bit and have a big smile on his face.  He also laughs a lot at James because he loves watching his older brother be silly.

Dancing makes a great rainy day activity too.  Even if you can't dance (like me), it doesn't matter because young children don't know that...at least not yet.  Same goes for singing...feel free to sing your heart out with your kids...they won't know you are out of tune or saying the wrong words.  They just enjoy the music and love that you are willing to be involved with them.

Better to Give Than Receive

This morning at church the topic was "It is better to give than to receive."  Although this does not relate solely to money, that was more the focus point of this particular discussion.  Our pastor spoke regarding the blessings that get poured out into your life when you give, but not only for yourself, also to the one with whom you have given.  If you just hold onto the money and keep it in your grasp, no one is gaining a blessing from it.  This is not to say if your family is struggling financially and do not have extra money, you should give it all away...nothing extreme like that...more of a spirit of generosity in your heart.  This can also apply to giving of your time to help a friend or neighbor or to volunteer at a soup kitchen or even at your church.  There is something truly enriching about giving of yourself.

I still remember attending a youth conference in high school with my church group.  During one of our breaks, we all went out walking around town to grab a bite to eat.  Outside there was a homeless man asking for money, and I dug into my pocket and pulled out all the change I had and gave it to him.  In my heart I felt compassion and wanted to give even if it was just a little bit.  To this day I still remember the people around me...my fellow church goers, criticizing my decision to give money to the man...stating that he would probably use it to buy alcohol or something.  First of all I thought I hadn't given him all that much money, and secondly shouldn't we as the church be reaching out to those in need.  I talked with a wiser adult later about that situation, and I was told that we can only do what our heart is prompting us to do, but we cannot control what the other person does with our gift.  God knows the condition of our heart, and as long as our motives are pure, it doesn't matter what happens with our gift.

Somewhere in my life I developed a love for giving.  Since God has blessed me, I desire to pour blessings out into the lives of others.  I enjoy giving financially...purchasing gifts for the Angel Tree, donating to our church's food drive to help the local food banks, sending money to a missionary family overseas, sponsoring a child in Uganda, etc.  To me this is rewarding, and I know the money is going to further God's kingdom.  What is more difficult for me is the giving of my own personal time.  I do volunteer with my church's special needs program every other week, and sometimes I will try to help in other ways, but my heart is not always into it.  This is something I need to pray to improve in my own life. 

If I want my boys to grow to be generous with their money and time, I need to make more of an effort to display those actions in my everyday life.  Children even at a young age start to pick up on the examples of their parents.

Running Errands

This morning I took the boys out with me to run a couple errands.  I had to go to post office and the bank and wanted those tasks completed first thing, so the businesses wouldn't be as busy.  At the post office we waited in line and purchased some holiday stamps which we could have done at a grocery store or pretty much anywhere; however, I also needed to make sure our Christmas cards didn't need any extra postage because the envelopes seemed awfully large especially for the 4x6 photo card contained inside.  Thankfully one stamp is all that is required, so James helped me put stamps on the Christmas cards.  He really enjoyed putting the cards in the mail slot though...that was probably his favorite part of our errand running. 

Next we stopped at the bank to deposit and cash a check.  We went inside because I only wanted to deposit a portion of the check and cash the rest for my monthly grocery expenses.  We had to wait just a little bit before being helped.  The teller got a kick out of Sam in the Baby Bjorn and James on my hip.  One of the tellers actually came over and talked to us while we were being helped.  She asked me "Is that James?" and when I told her yes, she responded James had grown so much.  She then went on to inquire with James about his baby brother.  That was really sweet.  I am surprised she remembered us.  It seemed like she was the only teller we ever got at the bank for the longest time, adn then I hadn't seen her in awhile, but we happened to run into her today.  Before we left the bank, the boys were both given a sticker.  James had fun placing one sticker on his shirt and one on Sam's overalls.

Since James and Sam both did so well on those errands which can be a little crazy, we stopped at the grocery store, and I allowed James to pick out a treat from the bakery for us to take home and share with Daddy.  Daddy stayed home today to continue his work on the Jeep.  James chose chocolate croissants, but once home he hardly nibbled on his.

The rest of the morning was spent having fun.  James rode his balance bike for about an hour.  Then we raked up leaves into piles and jumped in them, moved them around, and made new piles.  James and Sam both had fun playing in the leaves.

I still have more errands to run because I need to get the rest of the gifts for the Angel Tree at our church.  They are due this weekend, and so far I am only 1/4 of the way done.  Each child gets a clothing item and a toy item.  So far I have a basketball for one of the toy items.  Thankfully my mother-in-law volunteered to stop by and watch the boys, so I can finish the Angel Tree shopping without having to tote them along.  It is much harder to actually take time to peruse clothing with the boys.

Growing up so Fast

I am not only addressing our little baby who is not such a little baby anymore, but also our almost three year old son as well.  It is incredible to see how much they have both grown and how their skills have progressed.

Sam is an active little guy who is constantly crawling, climbing and standing up on everything.  There have been a few times he has stood all on his own without holding on, but he only last a second or two before falling over.  I imagine his first step is right around the corner.  Not only that but Sam is quite the wiggle worm when it comes to diaper changes and getting dressed.  Sometimes it feels like I have to wrestle him to get any clothes on the baby.  And, boy, can Sam eat!  He is a terrific eater...doing great with finger foods, pureed foods, and of course his bottle.  Sam is also a water baby...he will hear the water start running in the bathtub, and down the hall he races as fast as his hands and knees can carry him.  We have already noticed that Sam has a good temper and can be quite stubborn, and if it is obvious at this age, we wonder what we will be getting into once he is a toddler.

James is building quite the vocabulary and putting sentences and stories together frequently.  Granted, I cannot understand every word he says, but generally I get the idea of what he is telling me.  James will recount activities we have done or request that we do specific activities as well.  He is such a delight in his conversations, and my husband and I are constantly amazed at his knowledge.  James is doing amazingly well on his balance bike too!  Lately he wants to ride it constantly, and I usually have to load Sam into the jogger, so I can make sure I will be able to keep up with James. 

I am so proud of my boys!

Poor Little Sam

Yesterday Sam took his first good spill.  He has fallen before especially since he loves to climb and stand on everything; however, this time, he managed to do a good number on his poor upper lip.  James and Sam were standing near the toy box playing, and Sam started to move around and slipped, somehow managing to fall behind the toy box (not sure how he did that exactly since there isn't much space there).  He hit the back of his head against the wall and the momentum carried him forward, and his face landed right into the back of the toy box.  Sam immediately began screaming at the top of his lungs, and I had seen the episode take place, and it looked like it hurt, so I rushed over and picked him up.  I was quite surprised at the amount of blood coming out of Sam's mouth, and I was concerned that he had done some serious damage.  After mopping up his mouth with a receiving blanket and having him chew on a cold teething ring, I convinced Sam to allow me to take a better look inside his mouth.  Fortunately nothing looked horribly wrong, but his upper lip was cut pretty good with his bottom teeth.  Poor little guy!  After Sam was content and happy again, he went back about his normal activity.  It could have been so much worse, and I sure am grateful it wasn't.

Lunch Date with James

Since Sam has become a part of our family, it seems harder for find individualized one-on-one time for the boys.  Well...it isn't always hard with Sam because often he is awake during some of James' nap.  However, the times James can get undivided attention (while Sam happens to be napping, riding bikes with Daddy, or running errands with one parent or the other), you can tell he just cherishes that time.  James is getting to the age that he appreciates having time just for him, and I can't blame him at all especially since often Sam demands attention or requires more assistance.

So today I took James on a lunch date with Mommy and left Sam behind with our aunt.  Technically this was a play date with our moms group, but the point was that James and Mommy would be spending the time together without having Sam interrupt.  Although only two other moms and their little ones ended up joining us, it was nice to visit and have the kids interact.  Not only did James get some special time along with mini hamburgers and french fries, but I was able to relax and enjoy the time because the restaurant was practically empty, and I didn't have a baby crying in my ear.  It made it less stressful, and I know James had fun.

It is important for every child to get some separate individual attention, and my goal is to make a bigger effort to make that happen for my boys...especially as they get older.  My husband and I have already talked about each of us taking one boy out to do something so they can have the attention they deserve...at least while they are young enough to want to hang out with us.  However, I am sure that even when they are older, they won't mind going go-cart racing with Dad or something along those lines.  I feel special one-on-one time helps create bonds and hopefully keeps lines of communication open as children get older and life gets more complicated.

Advent Dinner

Last night we went to the in-laws for Advent dinner.  In the past we were asked to go every Sunday of Advent for dinner, but once we had children, we requested to change that since it was too much for our family and it took up every possible weekend when December tends to be pretty busy in general.  Now my mother-in-law is happy if we attend the first Advent Sunday for dinner.

My mother-in-law always finds cute gifts for the kids to help them remember the meaning behind Christmas.  Last night they were given a bear that tells the story of Christmas when you push his foot.  Also we were given a cloth Advent calendar filled with numbered bell ornaments for every day in December counting down to Christmas.  James loves the magnetic Christmas tree we got previously where we add a numbered ornament every day in December leading to Christmas, so I am sure he will enjoy the bell ornaments as well for our real Christmas tree.

After dinner my husband, James and Grandma worked together to build a gingerbread house.  This is the first time James has done a gingerbread house, and he had a good time...mostly sticking his finger in the frosting and eating it along with some of the candies.  However, James did sprinkle lots of candies on top of the house as well.

When the gingerbread house was finished, we all went for a little walk in the neighborhood to see Christmas lights, but there weren't many to look at.  Then we headed home.  It was a busy and fun evening at the grandparents.

Christmas Tree

Yesterday we went as a family to cut down our Christmas tree.  When I say cut down our Christmas tree, I don't mean going to a Christmas tree farm and selecting a tree...I mean getting a permit and going into the national forest to chop down our tree.  This is something that my husband's family did for several years, and he wants it to be a tradition for our children, so we started doing this the year James came into our family.  It is a fun day to spend together, and the experience of picking out your own tree is very exciting even if they don't always look as full and perfectly shaped as the Christmas tree farm places.

The first year we went, it was just my husband, James and myself.  Last year my husband's cousin joined us.  This year we had both sets of grandparents along with my brother and his family come along on the Christmas tree hunt.  We learned a valuable lesson...next year if other people will be joining us, we should be more specific about how the day will work out.  We had planned on doing a picnic lunch, so we had packed our own lunches, but that didn't get communicated well, so most everyone else expected to eat out.  We ended up stopping at McDonalds and letting the little ones play for a little bit before going to purchase our permits.

This morning we pulled the Christmas tree inside the house.  We also started putting up our Christmas lights on the house.  Our tree won't have lights this year because Sam is very fascinated by electrical cords, and we don't want a huge temptation sitting there for a long period of time.  When the boys are older, we will put lights on the tree.  Later this afternoon we will decorate the tree with ornaments.

Here is a picture of our $10 tree (the cost of the permit)...of course that doesn't include the gasoline to get to the location, but it is definitely a great way to jump into the Christmas countdown.  This year we did pretty good on our tree...in the past they have been much smaller and the branches have been more spread out.

Thanksgiving

A synopsis of my day thus far and what I am grateful for...

This morning the whole family was supposed to go on a 5K run to raise money for local food banks.  We had already paid our fee, so the donation was given to the food bank; however, since the weather showed very high probability of rain, we decided the little boys and I should stay home, but my husband still planned on running, and instead he was going to do the 10K.  As my husband was about to walk out the door, James decided he wanted to run too, so I had to quickly change him into warm clothes and grab extra items that may be needed and send them both out the door.  Sam and I spent some time together dancing in the living room and watching the Macy's Thanksgiving parade on t.v.

***I'm thankful my husband is willing to take our son on fun rainy day adventures with him.
***I'm thankful Sam and I stayed home because Sam would have been miserable all soaking wet.
***I'm thankful James loves to be outdoors.

On their way home from the run, my husband and James stopped at the grocery store to get a few items...newspaper to see the Black Friday ads, overnight diapers for the little guys (we had used their last ones last night), and some items to make us a yummy egg muffin breakfast sandwich.

***I'm thankful my husband is willing to run to the store on busy days.
***I'm thankful my husband enjoys making yummy meals once in awhile.

After we had eaten, James was allowed to play a little longer and then it was nap time.  Sam had slept earlier, so their naps were not going to coincide.  My husband decided to work on the Jeep, and I put James to bed.  Well...James has now learned that he can get out of bed on his own and play or leave his room.  I had to return him to his room about four times, and he was playing loudly in his room for over an hour before I went in and told him nap time was over.  He was excited to be done.  I am hopeful it was just an exciting day, and James hasn't given up naps completely.

***I'm thankful my son is able to be mobile and get into mischief even if it makes it harder on me.

I was so busy during the "nap time" making sure James stayed in his room I forgot all about the corn casserole I was supposed to make to take to Thanksgiving dinner, so I threw it together really fast and got it in the oven.  Right now Sam is down for another nap, and James and my husband are outside riding their bikes together even with it sprinkling a little.

***I am thankful I still have enough time to get the corn casserole baked before we have to leave the house (although just barely).
***I am thankful Sam is getting the sleep he needs, so hopefully we will only have one grumpy boy to contend with at our aunt's house.
***I am thankful once again that my husband is such a wonderful daddy.

I better get back to work.  I already packed the diaper bag, but I still need to put some toys aside to bring with us. 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, everyone!!

Chocolate Chip Coffee Cake

http://bakedbree.com/chocolate-chip-coffee-cake

We had some company from out of state visit our home this morning.  I decided to put together something to have available...not only to make the house smell good but to offer to eat.  I settled on this recipe from the Baked Bree blog because I have loved her ice cream recipes in the past, and her pictures are so amazing!

Well...the house smelled delightful, and the result was a beautiful, delicious tasting coffee cake that everyone thoroughly enjoyed.  In fact when I had mentioned that I just pulled a coffee cake out of the oven, at first our guests were reluctant to have some because they had already eaten breakfast, but once my friend laid eyes on the coffee cake, she stated "Now that I've seen it, I will have to try some."  Then her and her husband both had seconds as well, so it must not have been too bad. ; )

I will definitely keep this recipe in mind for future use.  I love the cinnamon sugary taste, and the nice crunch it gives to the top of the cake.  Also the chocolate chips in the middle create a ribbon of chocolate throughout while the ones on top retain their shape.  It looks fancy, and it does take a little bit of time to put together, but it is not too bad.

One Car Family

Since my husband is swapping the transmission in the Jeep, we are currently a one car family for a little bit.  This is generally not a problem and has happened in the past as well.  However, today was a little interesting because Sam had his sibling visit scheduled for this morning, but my husband also had an important dr. appt. in the morning as well.  We ended having me drop my husband and James off at the dr. office with the jogging stroller on our way to Sam's visit.  They got there early for the appt., but they took a walk outside for a little bit before heading in.  Then my husband ran them home afterward.

Sam had his sibling visit which went as it normally does...both boys doing their own separate things for the duration.  Next we have a caseworker coming over for her monthly visit this afternoon and dinner at a friend's house.  A pretty busy day overall, I would say.

Toddler Bed

Last night James made the switch from crib to toddler bed.  We decided this week would be a good week to make the change because my husband has the entire week off work, so if we have to continually put James back into bed, it won't be interferring with my husband's work the next day. 

Originally we were going to put James straight into a twin bed, but my parents offered us the use of their blue race car toddler bed, and James loves race cars, so we went that route instead.  It is nice because James is excited about his new car bed, but also it allows us to continue using the twin bed (which is currently located in Sam's room) as a diaper changing station as well as a sleeping accomodation for guests (of course I wash the sheets and everything).

Well...last night we still had the crib in James room as well, so we gave him the choice of which bed he wanted to sleep in, and he choose the car.  We did his normal bedtime routine, and my husband tucked him into his bed.  James was heard playing in his bed for a good while before he finally fell asleep.  James managed to remain in his bed the entire night, and in the morning when he woke up, I could hear him playing in his bed again.  After he had been awake and playing for about five minutes, I knocked on his door and asked if I could come in.  James was all cute laying on his bed playing with his teddy bear.  He pointed at the crib and said "crib, get out", so I told him we could work on that today.

This morning my husband and I disassembled two cribs, moved the crib from James's room into Sam's room and put the one from Sam's room away (the crib from Sam's room was borrowed from my brother, so we wanted to make sure it was ready to return since we will no longer be needing it...at least at this point in time).

Nap time was a little more interesting today because even though James crawled into his bed with his teddy bear, he was talking about how he didn't want to go to sleep.  I did our normal naptime routine and left him in his room figuring he may decide to come out this time; however, he played a little bit and then fell asleep.  I peeked my head in to check on him, and he is fast asleep curled up in his bed with his arm around his teddy bear.

Needless to say, I am happy with how well the bed transition is going.  Granted it has only been one night and one nap, so who knows what is going to happen when James is more aware that he can leave his room when he wants.  Oh well...we will cross that bridge when it comes.

Absolutely Disgusting!

Now I have had my share of horrible diaper explosions and spit up city all over myself and practically everything else, but this surely takes the cake all around!  This morning I had a dr. appt., and I only had a short time to get ready.  I decided I would just use my manual toothbrush and do a quick brush before running out the door.  Well...I apply some toothpaste and start brushing.  You know how sometimes something doesn't seem right or you feel somehow you know there is something different, but it takes your brain a moment to catch up and clue your body in on what's going on?  That is what happened to me.  I thought to myself this tastes really strange...awful in fact.  Then my brain clued me in that the taste was throw up that had somehow not gotten dislodged from the toothbrush brittles from last Friday when I was sick due to my migraine headache.  I almost threw up right there!  Yuck!!  I quickly rinsed my mouth out, reapplied toothpaste to my electronic toothbrush and went to town in my mouth followed by a thorough gargling of mouth wash afterward.  Needless to say, that toothbrush winded up in the trash can.

In my whole lifetime I have never had that happen before!  Whenever I am sick and throw up, I always use a manual toothbrush to brush my teeth and get the nasty taste out.  Then I rinse the toothbrush really well when I am done.  Apparently I didn't do a good job rinsing this last time, and I don't think I will forget that anytime soon.  Disgusting!!

Lost Art Form

Usually I am really good about writing thank you cards.  In fact my own mother has told me that sometimes she and my dad roll their eyes and wonder why I am thanking them this time when a card comes in the mail...not quite the reaction I expect, but oh well.  Anyway...my birthday was back in September, and because of my surgery, I had some wonderful friends provide meals for my family around the same time.  I have written a few thank you cards, but I still have more to go.  The motivation is just not there.  I am determined the finish the ones I have left within the next couple days.

Just in general, though, it seems like thank you cards are a lost art form.  I rarely get thank you cards from other people.  On the same note, people are not sending paper invitations very much anymore either.  With Evite invitations can be sent without requiring paying for postage, so perhaps that is some of the draw.  I was shocked last year when I was invited to a kid's birthday party through text message.  Part of me misses the days of handwritten cards.  Hopefully I can continue pushing through and get out of the rut I am in.

Court Trial

We finally found out the results of the court trial scheduled for earlier this month.  Parental rights were terminated.  Now we just have to wait the sixty day appeal period; however, we are fairly certain an appeal will be filed.  If an appeal is filed, it will drag the process out another twelve months or so.  However, we are headed in the right direction of making Sam a legal member of our family.  : )

Birth dad's goodbye visit is approaching.  I didn't realize it was going to be the last visit, but I had already sent in some pictures to get developed for him since I have been sending them about once a month already.  I haven't figured out if there is anything else I should do for that visit or not...or if I even have the time to do anything else.

Also we found out from our worker that birth dad's girlfriend may be pregnant.  Our worker is going to look into it and see what the county is thinking will happen if she is pregnant and has the baby.  She wanted to give us a heads up that another baby might end up in care if we were interested.  I told her at this point, yes, we are willing to take any siblings of the two children we already have.

Kitty Cat

After dinner, the boys had baths, and then we dressed them in some warm pajamas and went for a family walk around the neighborhood.  Sam rode in the Bjorn, and James lead the way for everyone.  Along the way, we encountered a friendly orange cat.  Both the cat and James were quite fond of each other.  So much in fact that the cat kept following us wherever we went.  James would stop and wait until he could see the kitty cat again before continuing on the sidewalk.  That cat followed us all the way home and sat whining at our front door for a long while after we returned.  Luckily for us, someone driving past in a car mentioned it was their cat...we were a little nervous that we had met a stray and it was going to want to live with us.  It took over an hour for the cat to decide to wander away from our home.

It is amazing how something so simple can bring so much joy into a child's life.  And, if you are curious, no, we will not be getting a pet cat anytime in the near future.

Veteran's Day Parade

For the last four or five years, it has become tradition to attend the local Veteran's Day parade.  Last year James was so excited about everything, and this year did not disappoint with his excitement level.  Sam is a little young to appreciate much of the parade, but he did get a kick out of the go-carts and sirens...essentially the louder festivities.  One set of grandparents joined us for the parade as did my brother (who served in Iraq) and his family.  This is a simple way to introduce Veteran's Day to children, and one in which they enjoy and someday will appreciate all the more as they become old enough to understand what the day is for.

Thank you to everyone who has served to protect our country.  Also a BIG thank you for those who have sacrificed everything.  My heart goes out to the families that have lost a dear loved one.

My Kitchen Helper

It all started several months ago.  I was going to make brownies and decided James would probably enjoy helping me put the ingredients in the bowl and mix them up.  He did enjoy helping dump the measuring cups into the bowl and turn the mixer on, but his most favorite part, of course, was sampling the batter off the spatula and beater at the end.  : )

Since that time, I have often invited him into the kitchen to help me while I am baking something.  In fact, when James hears the mixer or the food processor start going, he will usually run into the kitchen to see what is happening.  My husband even had James help him bake a "Get Well Soon" cake for me while I was recovering from surgery.  That was huge because it required my husband to display lots of patience with our young, little helper, but they were a great team, and the cake was yummy.  Below is a picture of their creation.

I thought it was cute James wanted to help so much in the kitchen, and he is learning some skills.  However, now it seems like every time I am in the kitchen, James wants to be in the room with me assisting.  Even when I am prepping dinner, I get a pint sized helper ready to start working.  I will give him a butter knife and let him help me cut up the veggies, or he will help measure the brown rice for me or whatnot.

I honestly don't mind having a little helper, but it gets tricky finding appropriate ways for James to assist.  Also it makes it almost impossible to prepare a meal on my own.  I find that I need to expect James to help, so I need to think ahead and figure out how James can aid in the food preparation, and I need to make sure I am patient and understanding.  Last night James even gave up playing with Daddy (rough housing) to come in and help make dinner.

What a sweet little boy I have!  I wonder how long James will enjoy being Mommy's Little Chef.

Strider Balance Bike

For James's second birthday, we bought him a bright green Strider balance bike.  He had been so upset at Christmas because his cousin (who was five at the time) got a new bike, and James had thrown the biggest fit about it because he wanted one.  My husband and I decided to look into bikes for his birthday.  Well...James is on the smaller size, and none of the bikes would really work well for him, and after all the research, we decided to settle on a balance bike.  We decided on a Strider brand because it was the best fit for our small boy.  Supposedly a child can go straight from a balance bike to a regular bike without needing the training wheels since they already have the balance portion down.

James was so excited to get a bike on his birthday.  He walked it around all over the place.  For the longest time, James would just walk the bike around without even sitting on the seat.  Then he slowly started to sit down on the seat and walk around.  Once he realized he went faster sitting down, he began to regularly sit down on the seat while riding it.  Most recently, James has started to pull his feet up and ride the bike for short bursts.  He actually started that awhile ago, but not until recently has he been more consistent and purposeful in this attempt.

James is so proud of himself, and I am amazed at how well he does on the balance bike.  This morning there were times I had to start jogging to catch up with him because he has gotten so fast!

I highly recommend a balance bike to other parents.  It has been amazing!

Little Daredevils

I have always known that James is a little daredevil...ever since he was pretty young.  He has always been very interested in climbing, jumping and doing all sorts of complicated moves.  It looks like Sam is planning to join the ranks as a little daredevil as well.  I guess the boys will be in competition for everything.  : )  I'm just kidding, of course...although I do expect some competition in their lives...it's normal for siblings. 

Today we went to the "sand park" as James has dubbed it since it has a large sand area with a cool front loader sand toy for kids to play on.  This is a great park because Sam can maneuver the playground fairly well, and he likes the sand too.  Well...Sam decided to go headfirst down one of the smaller slides, and he landed right on his face in the bark.  He wasn't happy about that, but once he was brushed off and given a little comfort, he was ready to try his luck at the slide again.  From that point forward, I was more aware when Sam was close to the slide and would be prepared to help him slide down.

This is not the only example of Sam as a daredevil.  He climbs absolutely everything he can at home.  There have been times he has high centered himself on an object and needs assistance getting down.  He has even managed to get himself stuck in the bottom basket of the stroller a time or two! 

With James as his role model, I am sure the stunts will get even more intense as Sam learns to walk.  Both boys will egg each other on, I am sure!

Thankful

I know Thanksgiving is still a couple weeks away, but there are reasons to be thankful all the time.  I plan on listing 10 things I am grateful for.

1. I am thankful I am married to such a wonderful husband, a gentleman and a terrific father to our children!   He is amazing with our boys, and he steps in and helps out around the house when he can.  I will be greatly pleased if our boys turn out like their dad!

2. I am thankful that God has blessed our family with two of the most adorable boys in the world!  Our lives wouldn't be complete with James and Sam.  Granted, Sam is not an official member of the family just yet, but in our hearts he most certainly is.

3. I am thankful my husband and I planned ahead and made good financial decisions that allowed me to stay home to raise our children.  This has always been a dream of mine since I was a young child. 

4. I am thankful both of our families (my husband's and mine) live nearby and are excited to be involved in our children's lives.

5. I am thankful our church has a wonderful children's program starting from nursery all the way through the teenage years.

6. I am thankful we have a roof over our heads and food to fill our tummies every day. 

7. I am thankful I have a group of friends who offer support to my family (play dates, sending meals when I had surgery, listening and seeming to actually care about all the confusing adoption stuff).

8. I am thankful my appendix didn't burst!  I cannot even imagine how much worse shape I would have been in.  The recovery was hard enough as it was.  

9. On that note, I am thankful to be alive!

10. I am thankful my life is in God's hands.

 

Daylight Savings Time

Usually when Daylight Savings Time comes around, and we have to either move clocks forward or backward, it really messes up our family's routine...especially for the boys...well James in particular.  This morning, though, James actually slept in compared to normal, and I thought it was a little odd but was happy nonetheless.  Well...he was really content and happy to play with Sam on the floor, and James was in a super good mood.  Then all of a sudden, James became really clingy...he wanted to be held by Mommy or Daddy, and he didn't want to be put down at all.  I realized his forehead felt a little warm, so I took his temperature, and the poor guy had a fever...no wonder he slept so well and was being super clingy.  James had spurts of his normal self throughout the day, but for the most part (especially once his fever reducer medicine kicked in), you could tell he was sick by how much comfort he wanted and how little he ate.  We made sure to take his temperature and give him more medicine before bed.  Sam felt like he might be starting to get warm as well, but so far there is no high temperature for him.  I always feel so bad for my boys when they are sick.

I am thinking I will need to call and cancel Sam's sibling visit this week since James is sick, and Sam very well may be sick within the next day or two.  We can probably just reschedule for next week or something.  This is one of those circumstances that cannot really be worked around.

Birthday Celebration

Lately during James's imaginative play (which is darling to see, by the way), James will start singing "Happy Birthday" and pretending to blow out a candle.  Today should be pretty exciting for him then because we are having an aunt over to celebrate her birthday.  Her birthday was technically last weekend, but this afternoon worked better for everyone.

Last night I baked a dark chocolate cake.  It is filled with a peanut butter frosting and then covered in a rich chocolate frosting.  Unfortunately, I forgot to put some peanut butter frosting aside to decorate the top with, but it will still be tasty.  We are going to make some delicious homemade vanilla bean ice cream to go with the cake. 

I already made sure we have a candle available as well since that is James's favorite part.  James sure is going to love birthday celebrations this year...especially his own!

So Considerate

In the past when Sam would fall asleep, James would put his face close to the baby's and yell or make loud noises in order to wake him back up.  Sam, of course, would be terrified and start crying.  This would not happen all the time, but it did happen every once in awhile.  Lately James has become much more considerate of others.  Today when Sam fell asleep in the stroller on our walk, and we returned home, James saw that Sam was asleep, and he put his finger up to his lips and said "Shhh! Sam is asleep!" and tiptoed all cute like around the stroller. 

This also happened last weekend while we were at a harvest party.  We had gone inside the house to feed Sam and change diapers.  James saw that his aunt was asleep, and he did the whole tiptoe and "shhh!" thing.  So sweet!

Attorney Representative

We met Sam's attorney representative yesterday.  She came out to investigate for the attorney...basically to ask questions about how Sam is settling into our family.  We went over lots of growth and development type milestones and discussed how James is doing with Sam.  She also wanted to know if we had good support in place, so I told her about my moms group, our church, and our family.  We were asked if we felt we needed more support, but we told her we felt we had plenty of support.

The representative also agreed with our adoptions worker that at this point in time...everyone (Sam's attorney, the county, etc.) is wanting to push Sam through to be adopted.  The trial is more of a formality than anything else.  She also mentioned that our county adoptions worker just raved about my husband and myself...so if nothing else, I am happy that the county seems to like working with us.

While the attorney representative was here, she asked about the sibling visits and whether we were willing to and felt comfortable continuing them after adoption.  I explained that we feel sibling bonds are really important and will be especially good for the boys as they get older.  I also then went on to say we are comfortable meeting with the other mom as long as we take safety precautions since the other mom seems to have more contact with the birth parents than we are comfortable with.  She understood that concern and said she would address it with the attorney.

It will be nice when parental rights are terminated, but in reality, it will be such a celebration when the adoption date finally comes around!  : )  It has been such a crazy ride this go around compared with James.  I will be happy when our family is official, and there isn't worry and stress about what may come next.

Adoptions Worker

Our county adoptions worker seems to think the court trial this month is just a formality.  Based off the birth dad's progress in his original case plan and how he is handling life at the moment, she believes the court will most likely be terminating parental rights when the trial comes.  We all assume that birth dad will be filing an appeal to that decision when and if it comes.  I cannot see him declining to submit paperwork for an appeal...after all he has already requested a trial, and he keeps telling people that he will be getting Sam back.  If parental rights are terminated, and an appeal is filed, it will essentially slow the process down by about six months or more.  I was hoping Sam's adoption would take place in the early part of next year, but at this point in time I am not sure anymore.  It would be neat if we could have Sam dedicated at church the same time James was.  Our church does baby dedications twice a year, around Christmas and around Father's Day.  We already figured we would be missing the December option because we have the sixty day appeal period to wait out after rights are terminated.  James was dedicated Father's Day weekend...it would be neat if the same held true for Sam.  However, we will be grateful whenever the dedication takes place.

The county worker also talked about putting in a request to end the sibling visits.  Who knows if the courts will grant that request or not...generally sibling visits continue until one or the other is adopted.  My worker says that since the boys have never lived together, and they are so young, the courts may decide to stop sibling visits.  If that was the case, it would be up to the other mom and myself to set up our own visits.

On top of all of this, I checked online today, and birth mom is currently incarcerated.  She should be released soon.  I wonder if she will want to start having visits again or not.  The main reason she stopped was because there was a warrant out for her arrest.  However, she didn't even want to hold Sam at her last visit, so I am not sure what her thoughts are on all of this.

It is so weird to have a set of birth parents involved.  I wish circumstances were different because under our current circumstances there is no way an open adoption would be beneficial to anyone.  I mean...we have been told repeatedly not to go to court because they do not want us to meet the birth parents, and after the stories we have heard, I think it is wise we haven't met them...for our family's safety, if nothing else.  It's such a sad, confusing world we live in.

I will say I am grateful and truly blessed to have my two precious, sweet little boys in my life.  I love them as my own and always will.

Different Dads

Today I took my boys to the park to play with some of our friends from our moms group.  A lot of the moms in the group already know my story...how our family chose foster/adopt as the way to add members to our family.  Most of them were there to hear the news of James's adoption.  However, the group is continually growing as new moms join.  Today I was pushing Sam in the baby swing while another mom pushed her little one in the swing next to us.  Every once in awhile I would glance around to make sure I could spot James.  When the mom realized James belonged to me, she seemed quite surprised.  Then she turned to me and said "Your boys have different dads, huh?"  I just answered "yes" because truthfully they do; however, I was a little taken aback...I am not even sure why...I guess it just came across weird to me.  I then went on to explain to the other mom a little bit of our story of how we became a family.

I am not sure if I told the story because I didn't want her to think I slept around with different men, because I wanted to inform her since we may see each other a lot at the play date, or because I was trying to make adoption a more familiar topic.  Another comment that was made was "I would have never guessed James was your son".  In all reality there is nothing to take offense in throughout this whole conversation.  I guess I should expect more comments now that I am mom to a bi-racial boy and a little red headed child, and perhaps that is why I was thrown off.  When it was just James and me out and about, everyone probably just assumed I had a black husband and didn't think twice about it...unless they saw the whole family out together, I suppose.  Now I need to prepare myself to deal with comments that may come across as rude to me, and in doing so, I will also be preparing my children for how to deal with similar situations.  Thankfully this whole conversation took place in front of Sam who is too little to understand rather than in front of James. 

Yes, my boys have different dads.  In fact they have different moms as well.  However, they are a part of our family, and I am their mom, and my husband is their dad, and they are our most precious sons.  I hope one day our boys will believe that as well.

Little Trick-or-Treater

Last night we had a low key evening.  One set of grandparents came over to join us for our homemade pumpkin shaped pizzas.  The boys were dressed as Batman and Robin...too cute!  James, aka Batman, didn't want to put his costume on last night at first because he had already worn it twice to two other Halloween parties, and he wasn't happy about wearing it again.  However, he did want to get candy from the houses, so he was convinced to don his costume one last time.  We just walked Batman and Robin down the street by our house since James is still young and not really into the whole thing.  It was a good idea too because James had reached his max after four houses.  He wanted Daddy to hold him...he would set his pumpkin bucket down and back away from the door.  However, for the houses he actually said "trick-or-treat" and "thank  you" it was precious to watch.  He is growing up way too fast!  Sam just went along for the walk...we didn't collect candy for him.  : )

Halloween Goodies

 For a Halloween party we went to, I made spider eggs...deviled eggs with an olive spider on top.  They were a big hit!  Basically you make your regular deviled eggs and then cut up the olive to resemble a spider...using half an olive for the body and then cutting the remaining olive into legs for the spider.  I made some monster eye deviled eggs for another party we attended, but I forgot to take pictures of those ones.

 

 

Yesterday we carved the pumpkins we had picked up from the pumpkin patch.  Both James and Sam had fun playing with the pumpkin guts.  My husband ended up carving the white pumpkin...James requested a happy pumpkin for that one.  I carved the orange pumpkin, and James requested an angry pumpkin, so I just made it look like it wasn't smiling, and I also wanted the faces to look different, so I cut out different shapes for the eyes as well.  James is very proud of his pumpkins.  When we walk out the front door, he turns to the pumpkins and says "Hi, pumpkins!" in a very excited voice...too cute!

Co-Dependency

I was at the dentist office last week having my cleaning.  My dentist is also a friend, so it makes it nice because I can trust the information he gives me regarding my teeth, and it is easier to come up with topics of conversation.  Anyway...we were talking about my surgery, and I mentioned that it was hard to just sit and watch life and not be able to participate while I was recovering...especially the first week because I was too uncomfortable and in too much pain to hold my boys or provide any other care for them...not to mention I wasn't supposed to lift anything more than 15 lbs. which pretty much meant both my boys were off limits.  Anyway...I was a little offended when my dentist then responded by telling me "some people would say you are co-dependent". 

I can't imagine anyone who was in my shoes not feeling the same way.  It just tugs at your heart strings to not be able to provide care for your children...especially since that is my occupation...SAHM.  I doubt a single person would say I would much rather have surgery than feed my baby a bottle or even change those stinky diapers.

Truthfully, I love my family, and I enjoy spending time with them.  We cherish our nights together when Daddy gets home from work or the weekends when we can all hang out and do family activities together.  I also cherish my days with the boys...although I cannot say that I always cherish every single moment of every day, but overall I wouldn't ask for my life to be different.  If that makes me co-dependent, then so be it!

Pumpkin Patch

This morning my aunt and I took the boys to the pumpkin patch...just a small local one.  We had a lot of fun!  James had a great time testing out all the different wagons (we must have switched wagons at least six times), picking out pumpkins and exploring the pumpkin patch.  There were neat tractors to sit on, a water fountain that James enjoyed cooling off in (just putting his hands in the water), and animals to look at.  It was pretty cute because James wanted to switch from pulling his wagon along with his pretty white pumpkin he had picked out to pulling the wagon that Sam was riding in.  He is such a loving brother sometimes!  Sam had fun riding in the wagon and touching/licking the pumpkins and corn.  We spent a couple hours there just allowing James to lead us around and determine what we did.  We left with one white pumpkin and one orange pumpkin.  I am glad we went since we hadn't had a chance to visit a pumpkin patch yet, and I know our aunt really wanted to go with the boys.

My aunt pointed out some of the behavior of other parents on our drive back to the house.  She had just been observing those around us while we were at the pumpkin patch.  She commented on how one mom who didn't want her daughter playing in the water (from the fountain) just grabbed her daughter's hand and pulled her away without offering any comments or instructions to her daughter...like not to get wet or the water is dirty...that kind of thing.  I told my aunt I don't know if it is just my personality or the fact that I am a mom to two little boys, but I am not bothered by my sons getting wet or dirty.  I like to give them the chance to explore the world they live in and learn that way.  Granted I did tell James to make sure not to splash because not everyone wanted to get wet.

Before I offend anyone, I just want to say I don't have any problems with other people's parenting...for the most part.  I didn't really notice or mind the mom pulling her daughter away from the fountain.  For all we know they had seen the fountain earlier and her mom already told her not to get wet.  Honestly, though, it is disheartening anytime you hear a child being yelled at or criticized harshly in public...I don't think that is called for.  You don't have to embarrass your child to make a point.  The child probably tunes the parent out when they start yelling anyway...I know I don't listen well when people raise their voice at me.

Beginning Stages

I am starting to notice the beginning stages of separation anxiety in Sam.  He definitely recognizes my husband and me, and if he is getting tired or is upset, he wants me to comfort him.  There have been a couple times this past week where my husband and Sam will be playing, and I will walk past them to change laundry loads or use the restroom, and Sam will start crying for me.  We went to a play date today, and Sam was playing just fine with some toys and having a grand old time until he looked across the room and saw me smiling at him...then he started to fuss and cry and crawl my direction.  In the past when I have discussed James's separation anxiety with others, I have gotten comments like I am spoiling him too much, he should be able to have me leave the room without having a meltdown, etc.  What most people don't realize is when you are in a foster/adoption situation, separation anxiety is actually a blessing.  It means the child is forming a secure bond with the family...or in the case the mom, the main care giver.  When James went through this stage, and as we encounter it with Sam, I will be grateful (even when it can be frustrating at times) because it is a great sign of attachment.

I don't think I mentioned that poor James had some separation anxiety creep back up in the past few months due to my surgery.  It was the first time Mommy was away from home for an entire night, and that set James back a little in his feeling of security.  Thank goodness I was released from the hospital the day after my surgery.  Even to this day, James will sometimes become upset when I leave him with Grandma to run a few errands because he is scared I won't be coming back.  Now that is truly heartbreaking!  I hate that he has to try to internalize and piece together these confusing circumstances.  I always tell him when I am leaving and reassure him that I will be coming back home.

Just because separation anxiety is more evident in infants doesn't mean toddlers will not experience it as well.  I pray God will grant James peace over my whole surgery episode.  I also pray for lots of patience as I move forward into the separation anxiety with Sam...I am expecting to have to stop putting him in the nursery at church here eventually...just like with James, but we will see how that all unfolds.

Court News

Court to terminate parental rights was recently.  Birth dad put in a request to have services offered...essentially to undo the court's determination that the birth parents would not be given a case plan to work.  There is a court trial scheduled in November to see if the courts will grant birth dad's request or terminate parental rights.

Birth dad also made it clear to the lady who has Sam's brother that if the county thinks they are going to terminate his rights to Sam, they have another thing coming.  Not only is birth dad mentally unstable, but he also has some violent tendencies.  This is when I am grateful birth dad does not have our information...our address, what we look like, etc.  All he would need would be our last name because it is extremely unique, and it would be impossible not to find us.

I tell you I will not hesitate to call the police if he ever shows up on my front porch.  Thankfully we had a wonderful transporter, and we actually have a picture of birth dad and birth mom to reference.  I also have a general idea of where they most likely reside, and it is not a neighborhood that we frequent which makes that easy...as far as running into them.

New Dinner Table

No, we didn't purchase a new dinner table, but our seating at the dinner table has changed recently.  James moved from the high chair to a booster seat sitting at the table with us.  He has done incredibly well at meals the past couple days.  The table has not been nearly as messy as I would have expected.  I think James is proud to be sitting at the table like a big boy with Mommy and Daddy.  Sam moved from sitting in the Bumbo seat to sitting in the high chair.  This has proved to be a great switch as well seeing as how Sam just recently learned how to get himself out of the Bumbo seat.  Also it allows me to give him more finger foods to try.  So far he is enjoying finger foods (puffs, Cheerios, banana, rice) and doing well with them.

Mostly it is nice that it feels like our family is eating all together at the table.  Usually we purposefully try to feed Sam before we eat dinner, but we also make sure he has some finger foods to play/eat or a food item in his mesh feeder to keep him occupied and part of our meal together.  Family meals are important to me, and I think they promote great bonding.

Diaper Surprise

I am aware Sam puts absolutely everything he can into his mouth which is quite common for his age.  I have extracted many objects from his mouth: sticks, rocks, grass, bark, food his older brother tries to share, etc.  This is the first time I have found evidence of a forbidden item in his diaper contents.  Sam was stinky, so I took him in the room to get him cleaned up and a new diaper wrestled in place.  Low and behold, there are a penny sitting in the stinky mess.  I don't know when he found it, but he most definitely ate it...thank goodness he didn't choke on it or anything!  I did not save the penny or anything like that...in case you were curious...it just went out to the trash with the diaper.

Pesky Raccoons

For those of you who have gone camping before, I am sure you are aware that raccoons can be pesky visitors to the campsite.  Well...our family took a camping trip to a national park recently, and we had a raccoon visit us, but not in the way most would expect.  Somehow while we were sound asleep, the raccoon managed to open our tent (there are little pinpricks from the raccoon's claw...apparently he held onto the tent while using his nose or something to push right through), climb inside and over one of the clothing bags, grab our backpack (used as a diaper bag), and pull it outside.  He accomplished all of that without waking a single person, and amazingly, he would have had to crawl right next to me!  There was a can of formula spilled all over the outside of our tent, but fortunately, we had brought an extra one with us.  The backpack was right next to the tent.  I am grateful I didn't wake up to see a raccoon in the tent because I would have totally freaked out and scared the creature half to death, and that might have caused larger issues, but it makes me nervous that it could just enter so stealthily.

Before anyone starts to explain that we are not supposed to have food in our tent, I just want to say in the past when James was a baby, we had his formula in our tent as well without ever an issue...even staying at the exact same national park.  Also soy formula smells awful!

We determined after talking to some of our camping neighbors that these raccoons are extremely smart.  They tried to get into a few tents nearby as well, but the people were able to hear the raccoon and scare him away.  Since it is such a populated camping area, we think the raccoons have taught themselves how to enter and find something to pull out of the tent.  We don't think they actually smelled any food in our tent...once again the formula was the only thing in there...we didn't want our neighbors to hear a screaming baby for a long period of time if he happened to awake during the night and needed a bottle to calm down.

Updates on the Boys

James

I'll start with the oldest first.  James  is picking up vocabulary like crazy it seems!  We really have to be aware of what he hears from others or on the t.v.  He is also very aware of what others are doing, and will mimic actions, expressions, and tone of voice.  It is pretty adorable actually; however, it also makes my husband and me more aware of our surroundings and making sure to break unnecessary habits he picks up from others quickly.

Once I get James excited to wear big boy underwear, I think our potty training will go fairly smoothly...or at least that is my hope.  Right now if James is bare bottomed, he will announce when he has to go pee.  Then he will go running down the hall, climb up onto the toilet (I just got one of those toilet inserts because I didn't want to have to clean out a plastic potty), and use the potty.  We do use M&M's as a reward for using the toilet which some of you may think is horrible, but it is an incentive for James and works really well.  On the other hand, if James needs to go #2, he will ask to be put into a diaper, he will fill the diaper and then ask to be changed.  From what I have read, it is best to go with what the child is comfortable with, so that will work for now.  I would really like to get James into underwear in the morning (when we have nothing going on) and see how potty training goes.  Then depending on how he handles it, I would like to start allowing him to wear underwear instead of diapers when we go to our local park or other things like that, and once he gets that down, move onto other trips...like the grocery store or whatnot.  I have a feeling there is still a rough road ahead, but we will see.

James loves attending church!  I know I posted before about him having trouble adjusting.  Now he will ask in the middle of the week if we can go to church.  It is fun to see him interacting when we go to pick him up as well as the cute little art projects they made that particular day.

Sam

Now onto the youngest...my little baby is now 7.5 months old...I can hardly believe it!  Sam is full of energy...crawling all over the place, standing up holding onto anything he can, and climbing like crazy!  I am afraid he may be an early walker, but we will see.  Sam is quite the charmer.  Anywhere we go, someone has to admire him...partly because he is an infant, but I think the other factor involves his bright red hair and his adorable blue eyes.  Sam has become so responsive and gives smiles frequently as well as precious little laughs.  I definitely think he can identify my husband and me.  When my husband gets home from work, Sam is excited to see him and squeals with delight.

The sibling visits are still taking place every other week.  They have changed slightly allowing both myself and the other foster/adoptive mom (of the brother) to be involved in the visits.  One hour is a long time for the two little boys, and they don't really interact at all.  We are lucky if they both play with the same toy for a minute.  Tom doesn't seem to appreciate Sam trying to touch his face or his hair or trying to climb all over him, so that probably doesn't help either.  I am able to talk with the other mom and get some information regarding Tom as well as the birth family, so that is helpful, but I also know the information is not completely reliable.  However, it is really all I have to work with.

Court is coming up to see if the parental rights are terminated or not.  We have been told not to attend the court hearing.  It is a measure to protect our family since the birth parents are not stable and have a lot of history.  Birth mom has not been showing up to any visits (she has a warrant for her arrest).  Birth dad has been attending his visits.  I have tried to be nice and send some pictures for him once a month...I make sure the pictures are only of Sam and do not contain any identifying information.  I am a bit frustrated with the other foster/adoptive mom because she has given my first name to the birth dad...not that he can really do much with that, but I have a feeling if she knew my last name, she would give that to him as well, and let's just say, once you have that information, it would be simple to track us down as our name is quite unusual.

Appendictis

Mid-August I had to have emergency surgery to remove my pesky appendix.  They started to perform the surgery laparoscopicly but ended up having to do the old fashioned larger incision.  It took me about six weeks to fully recover.

I am thankful I have such an amazing husband...he had to take on absolutely everything for a good while.  He did a wonderful job looking after our two busy little boys, taking care of me, and keeping the house somewhat decent...not to mention meal preparation and everything else.

Now that I am back to my normal self and getting back into my normal activities again, I decided perhaps it was time to start updating this blog again. 

First Sibling Visit

Sam had his first sibling visit with his 21 month old brother, Tony.  Overall it went as well as can be expected for such young children.  I was called into the visit about five minutes after it had started because it was too much for the supervisor to hold the baby and chase the toddler around.  I did my best to move Sam over near his brother and talk with both of them.  Every once in awhile they played with the same toy together for a brief period of time.  It was nice to be in the visit and see the boys and get to know Tony a tiny bit.

The other mom was supposed to have a transporter bring Tony to the visit, but she refused the transport and drove him herself.  It has been months since I have seen her, so to me it was a little awkward but nothing I couldn't handle.  It was kind of strange not having the supervisor call her into the visit as well since she was present on the campus.

The sibling visits will occur every other week (twice a month) at least until court.  I am not sure if they continue if the parental rights are terminated.

I must say Sam and Tony looks so incredibly similar!  You can totally tell they are related.  Tony's mom showed me a picture of Tony when he was about Sam's age, and they almost could pass for twins.